Whether you are in your first week of Army "Spousedom" or rounding out 30 years, there are always questions. Deployments, Permanent Change of Station (PCS), official military functions - you name it. If the Soldier brings something home, guaranteed there is a Spouse right behind him/her racking their brain with a million questions. The last thing a spouse wants to do is put a proverbial black mark on etiquette, rules and customs that have been steeped in hundreds of years of military tradition.
Just walking around on post with your husband or wife requires certain action from the spouse - ensure that you are walking to the left of your Service Member. This gives them the ability to easily salute higher ranking members, with their right hand. Also, it goes without saying, that aside from homecomings and goodbyes, public displays of affection are not allowed in uniform. In a military setting, do not refer to your spouse by rank - using his first name is perfectly acceptable.
While being on a military instillation, it is mindful of you to know rules and courtesies in regards to the flag, or "colors". While it goes without question that the flag deserves respect, there are certain times and places that adhere to custom. During the National Anthem, headgear is to be removed, and holding your hand over your heart is advised. Also, during Reveille and Retreat, spouses and family members should face the direction in which the music is coming from, and stand still. On some posts, it is also required that cars pull over until the song is over.
Your spouse's unit might have numerous get togethers. Depending on the function, you might be wearing a ball gown - or you might be in jeans in a nice blouse. At a formal event (for example, a Military Ball) it is common for a spouse to wear a long, classy, formal dress or for men, a tuxedo. An informal event (Hail and Farewell), a ‘church' dress or pantsuit is acceptable for women, and a business suit is just fine for men. A Duty Uniform event requires a spouse to wear slacks; while a casual event could entail anything from ‘summery' dresses to jeans. You might, from time to time, get an invite from another spouse to a tea, coffee, or brunch. If the dress code is not on the invitation, call the host and ask what proper attire would suffice. It is also in good taste to bring the hostess a small gift (a bottle of wine, homemade cookies) and also to write a thank you card after the event.
Being a military spouse isn't just something you "do" - it is something that you should be extremely proud of. You are married to fine men and women, and upholding traditions and respecting what they stand for should be important, no matter the rank.