Superheroes are real, and they're coming to the Pacific Northwest! Let's hope Phoenix Jones doesn't get his spandex in a bunch when he finds out he has some competition. Of course, he probably doesn't have much to worry about as these "superheroes" don't actually fight crime. Instead, they battle against a more insidious threat to mankind: fickle, short-attention-span audiences. As part of Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus Presents Super Circus Heroes, these courageous do-gooders perform super-human feats of athleticism for your amusement. The storyline, such as it is, involves "Mr. Boredom" (award-winning clown Davis Vassallo of Italy, making his American debut), searching for his own superpower while witnessing such acts as The Cuban Comets (springboard artistes), sexy acrobats The Lightning Rods (the jokes write themselves with that name) and the Shaolin Warriors - who, among other feats, swing sticks, chains, swords and their bodies at one another in what looks like an effort to figure out which one of them is more macho. FYI: the guy who impales himself on a giant spinning blade wins. Let's see Phoenix Jones try that.

RINGLING BROS. AND BARNUM & BAILEY CIRCUS PRESENTS SUPER CIRCUS HEROES, Sept. 25-28, ShoWare Center, 625 W. James St., Kent, $20-$70, showarecenter.com