OMG YOU GUYS. Coolio's in town! Everyone's favorite Insane Clown Posse-affiliated performer (excluding Vanilla Ice and Gallagher) is coming to town, and he is just as Coolio as you remembered.

How Coolio is he?

CHECK LIST: Weird, Dr. Seuss stick-hair; being still kind of mad at "Weird Al" Yankovic; coming in second on the deplorable Food Network program, Rachel vs. Guy: Celebrity Cook-Off; probably still collecting residuals from the theme song of Kenan and Kel; spending several days in the desert with Juggalos on purpose-motherfucking checkity check check!

He's pretty goddamn Coolio.

OK, having said Coolio as much as I have, surely you must have made up your mind about whether or not you'd like to check out this madness. If you haven't, I have just one more word for you: Coolio. 

[Hell's Kitchen, with Tom Hutch, guests, 10 p.m., $20 advance, $25 door, 928 Pacific Ave., Tacoma, 253.759.6003]