There comes a time in a parent's life when they realize other kids' birthday parties have an escape route. You buy the gift; you wrap the gift; you show up at the party; and then you escape.

The route one must escape through? Libations. Find the nearest bar and run to it.

For those seemingly doomed to the ever-steamy confines of Odyssey I for a University Place-centered birthday gathering, I present to you: The Keg.

Run fast and run swift. Don't stop until your ass is firmly planted in one of the Keg's oh-so-comfy booths and an incredible Keg creation is set upon your table. Only then are you permitted to slow down, relax and sip away the day.

DRINK ONE: Kiwi-Tini (bartender's choice) - Housed in a chilled martini glass, an extremely refreshing blend of Absolute Citron, melon liqueur, Limoncello, white cranberry cocktail and fresh kiwi come together with brilliance. There's nothing too sweet, too sour or too fruity about it. This drink hit perfection.

DRINK TWO: Orange Slice (most popular drink within last hour) - With this drink, the aforementioned brilliance of the Kiwi-Tini was rivaled. Usually not a fan of fruity, overly-sweet drinks, I was shocked when two fruit-themed drinks in a row met my high standards and picky attitude. Once again, The Keg delivered a delicious drink without overpowering the senses. Absolute Mandarin was the key, while triple sec helped unlock the flavor.

DRINK THREE: Jean Bousquet Malbec (my choice) - Darnit. I ordered this at the beginning, as I ordered all three of my drinks at the same time (to be delivered throughout the evening) without considering any chance of The Keg delivering on the awesomeness factor. I assumed I would have to make it up to my tummy by engaging in traditional red wine consumption.

Alas, a lesson has been learned: In The Keg, we trust.

[The Keg, 2212 W. Mildred, University Place, 253.565.7300]