Lord knows I'm a patient man. I've waited out plenty of things. Concert ticket lines, girlfriends at the mall, tax-refund checks. I've even waited for the Mariners to have a truly winning season, which - if you follow baseball - you know could take awhile.

But waiting for a club to get popping? Man, I nearly lose my cool.

I first visit Surreal Ultra Lounge on Labor Day weekend. Hearing it's one of the hottest new dance clubs in town, I expect big things. I even bring a date. But instead of long drink lines and a dance floor soaked in sweat, my date and I turn out to be the only people in the club. The ONLY PEOPLE. Talk about a depressing date night.

Giving Surreal Ultra Lounge the benefit of the doubt, I decide to go back on a different night - a night not associated with Labor Day. According to one of Surreal's bartenders, Thursdays usually draw about 300 people.

"It's so packed you can't even move," the bartender tells me.

When I arrive Thursday the place is empty again. The tall ceilings, club-pattern furniture and dance floor palm trees are all unoccupied. A gaggle of voluptuous waitresses roam the club looking thoughtfully for something to do. Not knowing what to do myself, I grab a spot near the bar and wait.

And wait. And wait. And wait.

It happens all of the sudden at midnight. Right when I've had enough, ready to leave the club and write a hateful review about how I've been skunked twice, the crowd arrives. The club goes from nothing to something in a hurry. Good looking, tall guys in Echo Unlimited shirts grind women up against the walls. Ladies with short skirts and high heels roam the bar looking for fancy drinks. Most guys are on the prowl. Some ladies are, too. Everyone looks suave and ready for action.  By 12:30 a.m., Surreal has turned into one of the hottest weekday clubs I've ever attended.

But rather than head for a short skirt I head for the door. All that waiting made me tired.

I guess even once I find it, I still can't forget the search.   

[Surreal Ultra Lounge, open Wed-Sat, $10 cover on Thursdays, 728 Pacific Ave., Tacoma, 253.722.5489]