I don't like to gamble. Card tables, slot machines, the lottery; I do my best to stay away. As much as I love the thrill of winning, I hate the overall despair of betting away money.

But I'm only human. So every time I step into a casino I blow 50 bucks.  

Inside, the Great American Casino in Lakewood is surprisingly new. There's fresh carpeting and wallpaper. Broadway Joe's Nightclub is especially plush. Fake trees and park awnings push against the high ceilings. Old posters of famous plays line the walls. Decorated in faux New York style, Joe's reminds me of a restaurant named Luigi's Authentic New York Style Pizza. Sure, it's supposed to mimic New York, but you get the sense that the decorators never stepped out of Tacoma.

Luckily, the live band is anything is but fake. While they belt out Lady Gaga and Katy Perry, the dance floor wiggles with action, and a good mix of middle-aged suburbanites and young army men crowd the floor. Some guys wear suits, others wear camouflage hats. A woman in a little black dress dances next to a girl in a grey hoodie. There's something comforting about the wide array of styles. It's good to know you'll never be the rattiest in the room.

After a couple of drinks, I decide to try to make a move. I spot a short, pretty girl in a brown dress. I make my way onto the dance floor.

Now comes time for tonight's gamble. Do I ask her to dance or should I offer to buy her a drink? Or, should I go for one of my patented ice breaker jokes? Hey lady, could you tell me how much a polar bear weighs?

I decide to tell her my name and ask if she wants to dance. But just as I make my decision and move in close, I notice a big diamond ring on her finger. Diamonds on the finger are the single man's equivalent to busting in blackjack. I back off.

At least I didn't lose any money on the card tables.

Broadway Joe's Nightclub

Open until 2 a.m.
live bands Friday and Saturday nights, no cover
Great American Casino
10117 S. Tacoma Way, Lakewood
253.396.0500