I can't remember the last time I was in a Billy McHale's.  As a matter of fact, I don't think I've ever been in a Billy McHale's.  No, wait, I remember once (a long, long time ago), having some drinks in a place with a mini choo-choo train circling overhead, wooden accents that needed refinishing and the faint smell of a lifetime of hangovers in the making.  That was either a memory of Billy McHale's, or the short stint I had as a private stripper for the local carpenter's union back in 1985.

That's right, I was stripping wood at the tender age of 13.  What kind of stripping did you think I was talking about?

As it'd been eons since I stepped foot inside the retro train-track museum known as Billy McHale's, it was my pleasure to take Bandito Betty in for the best ‘80s-throwback liquid lunch she'd ever had.  I wasn't messing around with this one ... we were set to drink the BIG drinks, baby.  The kind where the alcohol comes layered in carnival-sized glassware.

Drink One: Electric Iced Tea (bartender's choice) - Our server, Ginger, placed the glass down and shot us a look of pride, laced with a little guilt.  It looked like she had just delivered baby Jesus and knew who the Virgin Mary had really slept with in order to get preggers. Bandito and I glanced at the drinks while simultaneously uttering, "Long Island Iced Tea."  "No, it's an Electric Iced Tea," Ginger corrected.  Same thing.  Both were meant to be sneaky-intoxicating.  Just like my soul.

Drink Two: Billy Banger (most popular drink within last hour) - "YEAH he did!" - Bandito Betty, Federal Way Billy McHale's, 12:34 p.m.

Drink Three: Kryptonite Margarita (my choice) - I TOLD YOU we weren't messing around with this 3 Drink Minimum.  Sitting smack dab in the middle of our table was the most beautiful advertisement for a margarita the size of my head.  I know this to be a fact because, upon drink delivery, I had Bandito hold it up to my head to compare. 

Yes, that particular liquid lunch did me in.  And yes, I did enjoy the Kryptonite Margarita.  Did I feel like Superman afterwards?  Absolutely.  I was flying high.

Billy McHale's

1800 South 320th Street, Federal Way
253.839.4200