Even if you don't live in Gig Harbor, you simply must have Hy-Iu-Hee-Hee on your tavern resume.  Nestled back from Gig Harbor's main waterfront drag, Hy-Iu-Hee-Hee is located on a rural road - the type of road where I imagine a murderer would dump their dead bodies.  As a matter of fact, I once dumped the body of a man I dated into the actual harbor.  He kept staring at my breasts while I talked and wouldn't buy me my drinks at the end of the night.  I was on the fence about his horrible demise until he took off his jacket to reveal an Ed Hardy shirt.  Then I knew he was worthless and I had to get rid of him.  I did it for all the single ladies out there. I did it for America.

Whew.  After that wretched flashback, I needed three drinks.  I clicked my heels twice and made my way to a corner table at Hy-lu-Hee-Hee.  This is where I met Gabby, and the beginning of my end began.

Drink One: Hy-lu-Happiness (bartender's choice) - I think the first clue Gabby knew of my secret Ted Bundy past was the fact she willingly picked the Hy-Iu-Happiness as her drink choice for me. I vaguely remember her describing it as having "every single different type of vodka in it," thus leading me to believe she wanted to see me lose bladder control in public.  I was onto her; she wasn't going to get anything past me.

Drink Two: Hy-lu-Happiness (most popular drink within the last hour) - See?  I told you!  Gabby had it in for me.  She wanted revenge.  I bet she once dated the Ed Hardy douchebag I offed.  How do I know?  Oh, it might've been the words, "The Hy-Iu-Happiness is so toxic that we're only allowed to serve two per person a night," which she uttered upon drink delivery.

Drink Three: Bud Light Lime (my choice) - Yeah, uh, so I don't remember much after this.  I'm assuming that, given my extensive domestic beer history, I ordered something resembling a Bud Light.  I went ahead and added the "lime" part at the end to hopefully class it up a little.  The weird part is I can't wait to go back and see Gabby.  She was incredible, and I somehow love the ladies who torture me with alcohol.

Hy-lu-Hee-Hee

4309 Burnham Dr., Gig Harbor
253.851.7885