What would Jesus serve?

Heck, I thought I was entering the Denny's in Lakewood - not the second coming of Christ's "Sportsbar."  That is, if Jesus Christ had a "sportsbar," in which case it might have a better name than "Christ's Sportsbar." I can only assume that ol' JC has a very large and in-demand marketing group employed behind the pearly gates.

At any rate, the lounge nestled inside the Lakewood Denny's is completely worthy of its name, Legends, and has been newly remodeled to prove so.  Long gone are the infamous bookshelves along the back wall and the grand jukebox in the corner. Even the legendary (gasp!) fireplace has been eliminated.  In their place, the walls have been painted, a karaoke stage installed and all booths have been replaced with new tables.

Fortunately, the Legends dive bar element - only having three (all cheap domestic) beers on tap - made my toes tingle in delight. Yes, it's been cleaned up a bit, but Legends is still a fun little dive in my book.  Splurging on three drinks inside the Denny's Legends Sportsbar and Lounge was my honor.

Drink One: Grape Nehi (bartender's choice) - "Yessss!" I said as my fist pumped furiously in delight through the Legends air.  "But instead of sweet and sour, I added pineapple juice," my server Elaina told me.  Wait. What? I could hear the wail of disappointment ring through my ears.  The voices in my head might have been upset, but I was willing to give it a try.  Pineapple juice or not, the Grape Nehi hit the spot.

Drink Two: White Zinfandel (most popular drink within last hour) - Oh good lord, say it ain't so.  White Zinfandel is the white chocolate of wines.  It's not even made from a real grape, and it's formulated to appease those with no real taste buds.  Only two kinds of people drink White Zin:  Malt liquor aficionados and my mom.  Don't be like my mom; malt liquor is at least palatable. 

Third Drink: Long Island Iced Tea (my choice) - I had to do something to erase the taste of pure White Zin trash out of my mouth, so a LIT it was. Filled to the rim with massive alcohol content, this drink did the trick.  I bet Christ's "Sportsbar" wouldn't have White Zin.  That'd be reserved for those in hell. 

(See you there.)

[Legends Sportsbar and Lounge at Denny's, 6112 100th St. SW, Lakewood, 253.584.1574]