This southern girl has finally been conditioned to the Pacific Northwest.  I no longer have the local suicide hotline on speed dial, and the carpet has started to perk back up in the corner where I used to curl up and cry for days on end.  

That being said, every once in a gray day, I get a hankering to hole up in a pool hall, order a few drinks, and resuscitate my soul with some good ol' rock n' roll laced with rhythmic guitar-induced blues.  

My hankering subsided when Bandito Betty pulled me into Malarkey's Pool & Brew on Tacoma Avenue for a little Meantooth Grin action and three, trashy drinks.

Drink One: Gin and Tonic (bartender's choice) - Bandito Betty and I were pretty slick this week and didn't tell anyone at Malarkey's what we were doing.  Usually we divulge Volcano information as this whole Three Drink Minimum business takes some explaining to the bartender.  If not, the drink-slinging schlep gives you a perplexed, if not annoyed, look when you say, "Make me any drink you want - your choice."  I have no idea why such a question always seems to throw the bartender for a loop, but I suppose it's probably similar to the same brain fart we all get when asked what our home phone number is.  

Drink Two: Jaeger Bomb (most popular drink within the last hour - Illness eventually ensues after consumption of this retched drink - no doubt.  Bandito and I only guessed that this was the most popular drink, seeing as we were testing out our new "don't tell the bartender we're here" angle.  And by the looks of our Malarkey's neighbors, it was definitely the Jaeger Bomb that seemed most popular that night.  I gagged one down for the Weekly Volcano team.  

Would said "team" drink the same for me?  I highly doubt it.

Drink Three: Pabst Blue Ribbon (my choice) - Honestly, all I wanted was a tall cool glass of water for my third drink, but Bandito wouldn't allow it.  I cursed in her general direction as she brought me back a PBR and stared at me until I finished it.  The Jaeger Bomb had done me in with all its extreme black licorice-like grossness, and a PBR was the calmest chaser she could think of.  Forget my hankering to hole up in a pool hall; I'm going back to curling up in my living room corner. - Steph DeRosa

[Malarkey's Pool & Brew, 445 Tacoma Ave. S., Tacoma, 253.383.3301]