Inside my driver side car door compartment, shoved alongside crumpled Kleenexes, old gas station receipts, and a few crusty, dried up pens sits my 2010 Entertainment Book.  For years I've ridiculed local cheap-asses and their incessant need to always dine at establishments with a coupon in the Entertainment Book.  

Well, it's your turn to ridicule me, for I am now "one of those."

Hell yeah I'm going to peruse my Entertainment Book every damn time we pull up outside a Dairy Queen; and don't you dare doubt my ability to read the fine print.

Valid anytime, and good for a second entrée when one of equal or lesser value is purchased (up to six bucks) - not including alcohol.  

2121 Tavern not only has the best fried chicken in town, but it also has a coupon in the Entertainment Book.  Bandito Betty and I headed out to the Midland neighborhood for three drinks and a buy-one-get-one-free extravaganza.  

Call me a cheap-ass. I don't care.

Drink One: Lava Flow (bartender's choice) - Bandito Betty and I rolled our eyes in disbelief as we pondered the absurd likeliness that tropical, fruit flavored frozen drinks are making a comeback.  Our server, Brandy, explained this drink as a "Pina Colada mixed with pureed strawberries."  

Excuse me, Brandy, but didn't my ass look fat enough?  Do you know how many calories are in that sumbitch?  And did you really think I would enjoy a fru-fru drink that only a 20-year-old sorority girl would be caught vomiting up at a Fall Out Boy concert?

Yeah, well, I drank it anyway.  So there.

Drink Two: Summer Crush (most popular drink within last hour) - A refreshing way to wash down the best fried chicken in town -  Absolut, Chambord, and a bunch of other fruit juices really make it easy to polish off the huge pile of Jo Jo's accompanying said chicken as well.  

That's right. I high-nose the Pina Colada - strawberry drink, but have no problem justifying the caloric intake of a deep-fried animal carcass.  Something really is wrong with me.  I need therapy.

Drink Three: Winterhook (my choice) - Well, what do you know!  I found therapy in a crisp, cool, Winterhook beer!  Why pay $95 an hour to talk to a balding man who probably masturbates to the Discovery Channel when I can have Brandy simply bring me a beer.  

I love being a cheap-ass.

[2121 Tavern, 112th St. E., Tacoma, 253.536.2100]