HOLY LORD OF ALL DIVE BARS — I’VE HIT THE MOTHERLOAD! Whoa whoa whoa baby, the lounge part of Pine Street Landing and Lounge on the corner of 38th and Pine is a damn goldmine, I tell ya, a GOLDMINE.

The initial dive bar giveaway was the “and Lounge” at the end of the restaurant name. Second hint was the separate “back door” entrance to the lounge. After that it was the pool table upon entry that had a midday crowd of cute tattooed boys in wife-beaters gathered around, a severely obscene amount of décor, which included multiple dart competition trophies, a big screen, wood paneling, a 6 a.m. lounge opening hour, low box ceilings, no windows, and curvy retro benches. Best part of all — the blaring country music. Yes folks, country music. This place brought me back to every dive Texas ice house I ever bellied up in.

The fact that this female newcomer stopped and sang David Allen Coe’s “You Don’t Have To Call Me Darlin’” verbatim, well it made the regulars stop and stare. I was at home, literally. My daddy would be so proud.

Jennifer the bartender hooked me up with one of the most kickass Bloody Mary’s I’ve ever had for a liquid lunch as I giggled happily at the male bar-side topic of conversation: douches.

The men seemed to think a douche looks like either an artificial inseminator for an elephant, a campsite showerhead, or a turkey baster. The conversation was fucking classic. I’ve never laughed so hard while listening to Garth Brooks in my entire bar-going life.

If there was ever a divey “Cheers”-type bar in Tacoma, Pine Street Landing is it. No matter what time of day you stop by, there’s fun to be had, and diveness to be felt.

Pine Street Landing

3832 S. Pine St., Tacoma, 253.474.9898

Beer: Bud, Bud Light, and MGD on tap.
Food: Specials, specials, specials!
Service: very friendly

Bar Exam Dive Grade: A-