If all of you hep cats and cool kittens remember only one thing after this year’s jalopy shindig known round the world as Hotrod-A-Rama — Friday and Saturday, Aug. 1 and 2, within and around the Swiss Pub — I hope it’s this:



“Hot rods are more than just hobby. They’re a way of life.”



That’s how one of the Hotrod-A-Rama organizers, Steve Glucoft, put it into perspective for me last weekend at his Amocat Speedway Emporium open house, which was a prefunc for Hotrod-A-Rama.



If you think the above statement is nothing more than a bunch of jive, allow me to illustrate for you how this hot rod phenomenon is all about the iron and much, much more.



Because of the more than 500 pre-1965 hot rods and customs, vintage dragsters and restored midget racers, people spend years and all kinds of long greens methodically prepping their rides for the big Hotrod-A-Rama fest. Many build their automobiles specifically for this show.



Due to these revving engines, beautiful, curvy women spend hours getting all dolled up, perfecting their looks, adding the proper amounts of ruby woo lipstick and pinup attire, and it’s the two days in my life that there’s a competitive advantage to have naturally black hair.



Even better, it’s customs such as these that have a true tendency to bring out the cleavage and boobies, which is why this year’s Glam-O-Rama burlesque show will be twice as long Friday night. In addition, the Heidi’s Hot Rod Honeys contest will occur on Saturday and crown one lucky honey who will win by raw audience applause and shine until the end of the event.



The men who throw down at Hotrod-A-Rama add their own flavor to pay homage to the fine vehicles with their slick pompadours, necessary sideburns, simple T-shirts, sexy tattoos, and cuffed jeans.



And when you’re surrounded by roaring iron, you must have music, which is why Hotrod-A-Rama will feature a stellar lineup of bands, including Wayne “The Train” Hancock and Hard Luck Three on Friday and the Dicers, 63 Burnout, the ‘Verb, Marshall Scott Warner, the All American Playboys, Shawn Hawkins and The Offenders, and Hillbilly Hellcats on Saturday. All of the music is coordinated by DJ Zombo, aka Michael Devine, who jets in all the way from Pittsburgh for the fun. Tacoma can’t wait to party with you again, Zombo!

This hot rod way of life also has a way of encouraging everyone in attendance at Hotrod-A-Rama to jointly consume pallets of PBR from the Swiss, which often leads to hot rod hookups. Varoom! With a completely sound mind, I can say that Hotrod-A-Rama hands down creates two of the most profitable days for PBR in all of Tacoma’s history. The Swiss also starts Saturday the right way by serving breakfast, beginning at 9 a.m. Yum!



What used to be somewhat a private party, Hotrod-A-Rama has completely blown up with thousands of visitors who mill around the shutdown Jefferson Street that’s busting at the seams with cars.



Speaking of rides, one of the cars you’ll certainly want to check out is the 1929 black Ford Roadster owned by Glucoft and created in his Amocat Speed Emporium, a shop that builds and restores traditional hot rods. This particular gem won the best of show award at the Billetproof hot rod competition in Antioch, Calif., in September 2007. This is the granddaddy of all hot rod shows, and that Ford even beat out vehicles from Metallica’s James Hetfield and the legendary hot rod hero Vern Tardel.



When I sat down to talk with Glucoft and co-organizer Shawn Wheelock, I was sure to ask them an all-important question: If they could be a hot rod, what make and model would they be?



It was a simple answer for both of them and will give you some insight into who these cool cats really are.



Glucoft didn’t hesitate to let me know that he’d be a ’32 Roadster. He doesn’t care about the color; it just has to be loud and obnoxious.



Wheelock opted for the Matranga-style ’40 Mercury custom: slick and classy.



Glucoft clarified that Wheelock’s choice was not meant to be a direct reflection of him but more of what’s he’s looking for. Pay attention to these words, ladies!



It was a true honor to be invited to the Amocat prefunc last weekend in downtown Puyallup. This blowout included incredible hot rods, the tastiest barbecue food I’ve ever had, pinup models posing with the vehicles for photo shoots, and some of the greatest people with whom I hope I’ll get to party again this weekend.



Another thing I’ve found to be phenomenal about the hot rod way of life is that the affinity for them includes every single age range. Hot rods bring together the oldest and the youngest among us in a common bond, and the discussions about them have the unique ability to go on for eternity. Kids look at hot rods in awe, and owners of all ages shine up their pride and joys and congratulate each other jointly for their endless efforts.



That’s why Hotrod-A-Rama is such a vintage vehicle love fest.



Outside of my personal beckoning for you to attend this event, there’s a very important and highly compelling reason why you MUST be on Jefferson Aug. 1 and 2.



The theme for this year’s Hotrod-A-Rama is “The last one ever, till next year … maybe.”

It’s with a very sad face that I have to report that this might, just might, be the end of Hotrod-A-Rama. But if all of you shack-shaking readers attend this function and make it so very fun for the event organizers, I bet it would be tougher for them to shut this show down.

Regardless of the walk of life you come from, Hotrod-A-Rama has a little something for everyone, and this function gives people in our region something to do that’s a little out of the ordinary.



So do yourself a favor and join in on this shindig.



’Cause it might be the last one, and a glimpse into this hot rod way of life is something that I know you’ll enjoy.



Ladies and gentlemen, rev your engines.



[The Swiss, Friday, Aug. 1, 5:30 p.m., Glam-O-Rama burlesque show, hotrods and bands; Saturday, Aug. 2, breakfast at 9 a.m. and divine vintage vehicles, music, vendors and festivities all day, 1904 S. Jefferson Ave., Tacoma, 253.572.2821, www.hotrodarama.com]