Big shoes to fill

Mr. Big gives his views on State Capital Museum’s Sasquatch exhibit

By Angela Jossy on January 24, 2008

He goes by many names. Mesopotamians called him Enkidu. Tibetans call him Yeti. The Chinese call him Yeren. Australians call him Yowie, the Welch call him Brenin Llwyd or the Grey King. Scottish people refer to him as the Grey Man of Ben MacDhui, aka Am Fear Liath Mòr, and we Americans have three names for him: the Abominable Snowman, Sasquatch and Bigfoot. Despite these many names, most credible zoologists still call him a myth.

State Capital Museum in Olympia currently has an exhibit devoted to this mysterious creature titled “Giants in the Mountains: The Search for Sasquatch,” which runs through September. Also, Saturday, Jan. 26, Sasquatch documentarians Robert Gimlin, Richard Noll and Owen Caddy will hold a roundtable discussion on their research at the Capital Museum.

We sat down for coffee with the big man to see what he has to say about the honor.

WEEKLY VOLCANO: Thank you for agreeing to see me, Mr. Sasquatch. Many people might be surprised to hear from you after all this time. Why did you agree to be interviewed by the Weekly Volcano?

BIGFOOT: Please, call me Big. I’m a regular reader of the Weekly Volcano — especially now that it’s online — and I really like that Bobble Tiki guy. I figured if you could keep his identity a secret all this time, then you could be trusted with my story too.

VOLCANO: Well, Big, for a guy who doesn’t get out much, you look really terrific. Who does your hair? May I touch it? It’s so soft. Do you go to a salon?

BIGFOOT: Oh, geez thanks. No, I don’t go to a salon. There’s a family of birds near my home, and they give me a little clip now and then whenever they need to build a nest. As far as the softness, my cave has wi-fi now so I can order anything I want online. I found this shampoo called Bed Head, and I thought since humans sleep in beds it might make my hair look more coifed. I don’t really have a mirror though … thought it looked pretty good in my reflection in the lake … you really like it?

VOLCANO: Are those tennis shoes you’re wearing?

BIGFOOT: Yeah. Looks pretty silly with no clothes, I know. I had to start wearing them because these damn flat feet of mine need the arch support. Plus those weirdo’s keep making cast impressions of my footprints, and that really creeps me out. Freakin’ stalkers.

VOLCANO: What do you think of the things they say about you in the movies and the media?

BIGFOOT: Well, I like the horror movies. My mother always said I’d make a spectacular bad guy. Otherwise it just amuses me. I like the idea that people might think I look like Robert Downey Jr. underneath all this fur. Did you see that movie “Fur” with Nicole Kidman? Man she can be a guest in my cave any day!


VOLCANO: Why not come forward and become a part of society? You could have healthcare, move about the world freely, get a girlfriend …

BIGFOOT: Well, I feel pretty free the way I am. You’d be surprised all the places I’ve been. I’ve been to Hell’s Kitchen. I blended in the back of the music room. I do OK with the ladies. Plus I don’t have to pay any taxes or obey silly laws. We have our own society that looks after our interests.

VOLCANO: Really?

BIGFOOT: You don’t believe me? Look it up yourself. It’s called The Bureau of Sasquatch Affairs. We even have a Web site

VOLCANO: Wow, I had no idea. That’s neat. What do you think about the exhibit dedicated to you at the Capital Museum?

BIGFOOT: Well I haven’t seen it. You know I can’t exactly take a taxi and stroll right in now can I? I’ll probably just wait till someone puts it on YouTube.

[Washington State Capital Museum, Saturday, Jan. 26, 10 a.m. and 1 p.m., free admission with a $2 suggested donation, 211 S.W. 21st Ave., Olympia, 360.753.2580]