Sometimes I have horrible thoughts — thoughts I’m not particularly proud of and thoughts that would probably disgust most people. While usually I keep these despicable feelings to myself, for the sake of this week’s column I’d like to share one.



The other day, as my wife and I sat in traffic, there was a pickup truck in front of us with a bumper sticker.



“Save the Ta Tas,” it read, a small pink ribbon underneath the words. It was an anti-breast cancer message — for lack of a better classification.



“You know,” I said to my wife, apparently not realizing how pigheaded I was about to sound, “breast cancer gets too much publicity. I mean, what about all the other s*** that kills people? What about staph infections? What about other types of cancer? You don’t see bumper stickers for testicular cancer that say ‘Save the Nuts.’



“It just doesn’t seem fair. We’re always being reminded about breast cancer, and so many people die from so many other things — things that we never hear about.”



Luckily, my wife is also evil. I guess it’s one of the reasons we work. She’s just slightly less evil, agreeing with me, but adding that it wasn’t fair to say breast cancer was getting “too much” publicity. If anything, other diseases and killers just weren’t getting enough.



“Maybe,” I said.



What kind of person thinks to themselves, “enough with the breast cancer, already. I’m tired of hearing about breast cancer?”



Me, I guess.



This week I get a chance to make up for it. While I was planning on covering the Rock and Roll Craft Show’s Cancer Benefit at Hell’s Kitchen this Friday, Dec. 14, long before the tatas sticker and breast cancer conversation with my wife, now the assignment takes on extra importance. For the sake of my conscience, I’d like to convince as many people as possible to drop what they’re doing Friday night and head on down to the Kitchen for an evening of debauchery for a good cause. The music will be provided by the Lucky Devils and the Mopars, and the evening will also feature a massive silent auction offering a s***load of cool local stuff, and burlesque dancing by Tana the Tattooed Lady and Go-Go Amy.



In all, it will be one hell of a night. All the money raised will go toward cancer research (there’s a $5 cover), and all of the Kitchen’s staff have will be donating their night’s pay to the cause. Add all this to the fact that the Rock and Roll Craft Show is putting on and hosting the event, and you’ve got a benefit too good to pass up.



It’s been five months since the Weekly Volcano caught up with the Rock and Roll Craft Show, and since Yorkatron and Company are inching closer and closer to world domination, I figure an update is in order. The Craft Show recently finished a “mini pilot,” available on their MySpace page, www.myspace.com/rrcs, and plan to release the full pilot this spring.

According to Yorkatron, the RRCS is currently fine tuning the pilot, and preparing to “curb stomp the world with its release.”



“Honestly we wanted to do something good. We use our powers for evil so often that we figured we try something new. We have Jayme Jack helping us out from Ink City Tattoo, and we’re really laying down the tracks to hipster cancer fighting events,” explains Yorkatron (aka York Sandifer).



“The Craft Show also lost a friend very recently to cancer, and have close family and friends who are battling or have whooped that bitch’s ass (my mom, knockout round 1). There are so many people stepping up including the entire staff at the Kitchen who are donating their wages for the night. That’s really super awesome.



“It’s going to kick ass. It’s a Craft Show event. Who doesn’t love drunken cancer fighting? We encourage everyone to come out and drop a bid on some great stuff you can slang for Christmas and at the same time splatter the brains of cancer all over the wall behind it,” continues Sandifer.



“The entire night is going to be centered around our silent auction and raffle. We have so much insane stuff — thousands of dollars of local company-donated goods being auctioned or raffled off. Some of the items include: limited artwork, snowboards, skateboards, tattoo gift certificates, lift tickets, and of course dates with our friends’ wives.”



My guess is, friends of the Craft Show have hot wives.



I suppose we’ll all have to show up to Hell’s Kitchen to know for sure.



The Rock and Roll Craft Show will host their cancer research benefit at Hell’s Kitchen this Friday, Dec. 14. The Lucky Devils and the Mopars will help everyone rock out for a good cause. As Sandifer points out, “Who doesn’t love drunken cancer fighting?”



No one I care to associate with.



For more Rock and Roll Craft Show info check out www.yorkatron.com.



[Hell’s Kitchen, Friday, Dec. 14, 8 p.m., 3829 Sixth Ave., Tacoma, 253.759.6003]



Filming and screening I picture the scene via e-mail to mattd@weeklyvolcano.com.