’Twas a few evenings before Christmas and all through the city, everyone yearned for a Lavender L’mour and a ditty. The spicy fried calamari from Matador was devoured with nary a care, and the Monsoon Room’s vibe beckoned us, which isn’t that rare. Children tucked in, dreaming of loot, and Danette Dye slipped into a Michael Stars shirt and 9 West boot. Her vest, Forever 21, the pants, Citizens for Humanity, so far you can find these items at Nordstrom and Cake for your vanity. Then in the Monsoon Room arose such a clatter as Dye told us her under things were La Perla and Chantelle and settled the matter. More Lavendar L’mour, Red Stripe and Crown rocks arrived at the table; Dye told us her makeup is M.A.C. and we could buy it at Nordstrom if were able. Our asses shook to the DJ’s hip beats as Dye blared out Gene Juarez did her hair on South Steele Street. The cocktails went dry as closing time neared, and folks started leaving as they finished their beers. But we heard Danette Dye exclaim as she drove out of sight, “My purse is a Marc Jacobs. Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!”