THE CONTEST

Define-a-Thon

Funny, I was just in Goodwill the other day and saw a (used) For Dummies product that made me wince openly. It was, I think, Cookies for Dummies. Not a book. Some sort of kit. Some sort of toxic powdered mix in a large porcelain Dummies-logoed container, with dumbed-down instructions on how to bake. Amazing.



Next up: Ice Cubes for Dummies. Comes with bag of water and small tray and instructions. Sad.



In Opposite World, King’s Books presents Define-a-Thon, the next level beyond their annual Adult Spelling Bee.  Define-a-Thon contestants are given a definition (get it?) with four possible words.  They must pick the word that best matches the definition.  King’s Books claims the winner will be “the smartest person in Tacoma.”  — Suzy Stump



[King’s Books, Thursday, Nov. 1, 6:30 p.m., $5 entry free, pre-registration not required, 218 St. Helens Ave., Tacoma, 253.272.8801]

THE PARTY

Art at Work Kickoff

The Weekly Volcano won the 2007 AMOCAT Arts Patron award!



That’s right, we are very important. We also have many leather-bound books and our South Sound office smells of rich mahogany.



The Weekly Volcano would like to thank Tacoma Arts Commission for the prestigious award. After publishing 313 issues we have realized — you like us, you really like us.



The other two winners are the beautiful fellows of Beautiful Angle and the musical folks at Victory Music.



The awards ceremony, which is also the opening celebration for Art at Work Month, will be held Friday at the Museum of Glass. The Weekly Volcano invites those of drinking age to toast a few afterward at the Tempest Lounge o n Hilltop Tacoma. — SS



[Museum of Glass, Friday, Nov. 2, 6-9 p.m., no cover, 1801 Dock St., Tacoma, www.tacomaculture.org]

THE NOSTALGIA

“The Wonder Bread Years”

It has been said that if you can remember the ’60s, you weren’t really there. There are various subcategories, including those who can’t remember because they really weren’t there, those who think they may remember something but aren’t really sure what, and those who voted for Nixon — but basically, this statement opens up the decade of grooviness to either a lot of nostalgia or a lot of mocking. No one is quite sure what actually occurred. Well, comedian Pat Hazell does. Hazell takes baby-boomer Americana that recalls the genuinely funny observations of our collective youth: sugar-highs, milk money, the kid’s table, pop rocks, and those long distance trips in the wayback of the Country Squire Wagon in his one-man show, “The Wonder Bread Years.” — SS



[Theatre on the Square, Friday, Nov. 2 7:30 p.m., Saturday, Nov. 3 3 and 7:30 p.m., $34, 915 Broadway, Tacoma, 253.591.5894]

THE STAGE

Jump into “Holes”

“Holes,” a gripping show about a boys detention facility, a buried treasure, a Wild West curse and corrupt jailers, is continuing its run at Lakewood Playhouse. This drama is well cast and well executed with believable characters and a wonderfully engaging storyline about friendship and never giving up on either yourself or others. Children will find it filled with adventure and plot twists while adults will find the story well constructed. — Steve Dunkelberger



[Lakewood Playhouse, through Nov. 11, 8 p.m. Friday-Saturday, 2 p.m. Sunday, $12-$20, 4729 Lakewood Towne Center Blvd. S.W., Lakewood, 253.588.0043, www.lakewoodplayhouse.org]

THE EXHIBIT

Art is beautiful

Meet Art. Art is a bit of an exhibitionist. Art likes to be judged. Art is sick ’n’ tired of being confined to damn paintings. Art is crafty; art likes table decorations. Art likes napkins, flowers and spoons. Art doesn’t want to be talked about like this anymore. Hey! Art needs to calm down. Art needs to take in the Beautiful Tables Showcase at Lakewold Gardens. Amateur and professional designers decorated tables for special occasions and the holidays. They’ll be judged. They’ll be discussed on a self-guided tour through the gardens. Do you hear that, Art? — SS



[Lakewold Gardens, Nov. 2-4, 10 a.m. to 4 p.m., $5-$10, 12317 Gravelly Lake Dr. S.W., Lakewood, 253.584.6115]

THE FINAL

Down and derby

There will be no World Series game, but that doesn’t mean you have to forgo an evening of fierce, hard-hitting competition Saturday. Lace up your skates and sharpen your elbows, because the Dockyard Derby Dames’ flat track roller derby Championship Bout consumes the Tacoma Soccer Center. Come see The Trampires take on the Hellbound Homewreckers in the championship match-up! See the Femme Fiannas battle the Marauding Mollys in a grudge match! Check out the halftime show! Get drunk at the after party! See more exclamation points! — Suzy Stump



[Tacoma Soccer Center, Saturday, Nov. 3, 7 p.m., shuttle from the Freighthouse Square, 2610 Bay St. E., Tacoma, www.myspace.com/dockyardderbydames]