Cougars.



You can call me stupid if you want, but up until a month ago I thought they were either animals or Washington State University students/alums, and I was quite unfamiliar with the third definition.



As the urban dictionary says: Cougars are older women who frequent clubs in order to score with much younger men.



You could describe me as one of those, but the cougar is typically a woman in her 40s.

Allow the urban dictionary to further define: The cougar can be anyone from an overly surgically altered wind tunnel victim, to an absolute sad and bloated old horn-meister, to a real hottie or milf. Cougars are gaining in popularity — particularly the true hotties — as young men find not only a sexual high, but many times a chick with her shit together.

I asked Carmen’s friend, The Sherpa, if he thinks cougars are hot, and he said, “Any woman who has their shit together is attractive to me, and if it takes her 40 years to do so, that’s fine.”



Hmmmmm.



So then it dawned on me that you, our wonderful Weekly Volcano readers, are not all within five years of my age, and that cougars need and deserve love, too.



I’ve also been thinking about it lately because I’m just a mere (almost) eight years away from becoming a real cougar myself, hopefully of the true hottie sort.



But more than anything, since these broads are so gaining in popularity, let me set off some places where I’ve seen them congregate and succeed.



Just last week, the Pacific Grill’s Executive Chef Gordon Nacarrato pointed out a full assemblage of hot cougars lined up all pretty at his bar. Most had blonde hair and appeared to be having such fun clinking glasses and laughing like little girls.



Then I spotted even more cougars at Asado where I took an inventory of the younger and older men staring, smiling and trying to attract their attention. Yah!



Leave it up to Sandee Glib to further define another cougar hangout: Stanley & Seafort’s.

The Sherpa says he’s seen many a cougar at Guido’s, the lounge space within the Cliff House.



Everyone loves the hip Pacific Avenue strip with places like Matador and Paddy



Coyne’s, and cougars are no exception.



As for the less pretentious cougars, I’ve seen them rockin’ the wind tunnel at places like the Cloverleaf, the Beach Tavern, the Harmon, the Parkway and Spud’s.



If you’re into cougars or not, it’s still really fun to open your eyes and check out the mad game that they’ve got around this city, and the whole country.



Of course, this is important information for me to gather, personally, because it’s only a matter of time.