As I sit on my shady patio writing and enjoying the sunny Sunday afternoon, I also take time to ponder the tasty beverage in front of me. Perhaps you assume it is a nice, frosty IPA or crisp, cold Sauvignon Blanc. But alas, not today, for the truth is I am slightly hung-over due to a friend’s raging summer party last night, and alcohol is the last thing on my Jell-O-shot polluted mind. Instead, I have chosen to sip on what my clever significant other has coined “Emergen-T,” which is iced green tea with a packet of tangerine flavored Emergen-C. I know what you are thinking, but don’t knock it until you have tried it.

Anyway, while drinking my enhanced iced tea, it occurred to me how much we in the restaurant biz HATE tea and coffee. Not to drink, but to prepare and serve. It boggles my mind how the Starbuck and Tully empires have thrived based on these two beverages. But then you can’t get out of either of these establishments without shelling out $5 for a cup of joe, and then it struck me: THEY CHARGE $5 FOR A CUP OF JOE.

Why do we hate tea and coffee you ask? Because they are two of the most high maintenance items on a restaurant menu. Let me explain. There are up to 15 items that need to be organized in order for a server to deliver a cup of hot tea and up to six for a cup of coffee or iced tea. Here’s my paraphernalia list for hot tea:

1. Get plate

2. Put napkin on the plate

3. Put container of sugar or honey on napkin, on plate

4. Fill small pitcher with cream, put on plate next to sugar

5. Put spoon on the plate

6. Get another plate

7. Put napkin on the plate

8. Get teapot

9. Take lid off teapot

10. Fill the teapot with hot water

11. Open tea bag, put in teapot

12. Replace lid on teapot, put teapot on the plate

13. Get tea cup

14. Put all of these items on a tray

15. Deliver to customer



Now I admit, our standards for serving coffee and tea may be a bit higher than some establishments, but this is our drill for both, and we charge only $2.50 for each, and they are refillable! At least with a pint of beer or glass of wine there are only two to three steps, there are no refills, and the profit margin is greater. Soda is also a low maintenance moneymaker. Fast food restaurants push it for a reason.

And don’t EVEN get me started on water. In Europe and just about everywhere else, they don’t give you water unless you ask for it, and when you do, it is bottled and there is a charge. Here we add in ice and lemon, it’s refillable and FREE! So if you think about it, nothing is more high maintenance than ice water at a restaurant, and there is a serious service expectation attached to it.

We would love to exclude coffee and tea on our menu, but that would be selfish and stupid. A smart restaurant should charge at least $4 for tea and coffee in order to compensate for the extensive effort. Even a good tip on $2.50 is only 50 cents, however we won’t be charging that for much longer. So I suggest you drink up the deals now people because we just got smart! Starbuck’s bucks, here we come.

Come to think of it, all this thinking and getting smart made my head hurt worse. So screw the Emergen-T, perhaps a little hair of the dog will make me feel better.  A Bloody Mary sure sounds good.

Eat out Tacoma. We need your love.



Sandee Glib has worked in the restaurant and hospitality industry for more than 12 years as a server, bartender, cook and owner. Her opinions are expressly her own and she is always right.