This column, Drink of the Week, is about booze — sometimes expensive drinks, sometimes good drinks, rarely bad drinks, many times cheap drinks. Cheap drinks for cheap bastards like me.

One day, if I become a day trader, I’ll drink at some of those restaurants on Ruston Way all day long. In the meantime, I drink at cheap lounges using the money found on top of my chest of drawers. If there’s been a party at my house, I’m eating with the money found in between the cushions on the couch. You need money to drink at those high-falutin’ restaurants. If you don’t have money, then you’d better have an Internet search engine company. And if you don’t own a search engine company, then you need credit cards. I have none of these.

Capitol One was the credit card company that broke my credit history’s back. Four years ago they sent me an introductory Visa with a $2,000 credit limit. Four years and one day later, that card was maxed. In less than six months, the fine folks at Capitol One realized they’d made a mistake and asked to have their card — cut in many fine pieces — returned. Because of that credit-card financial fiasco while everyone else was paying at the pump I had to prepay. No more credit cards for Mr. Irresponsibility.

Then I discovered the bean counters at Dock Street Landing Bar & Grill got their black beans mixed up with their red beans and informed me of their $10 bucket of five Coronas. The first thing I did was call Tater Tot.

Tater Tot is one of the many who says, “Brad, when are you going to pay me back?” So, when I offered to take her to dinner, she asked if hell was operating at 31 degrees Fahrenheit. “The only thing freezing over,” I said, “is the cold hard cash on my new Citi $500-cap credit card. And, like liquid nitrogen, it’s burning a hole in my pocket.”

The two of us did two burgers and two buckets on the card on Dock Street’s sunny outdoor deck. Nice.

Some people might ask, why five beers per bucket? A reasonable question, and here’s my reasonable answer: At only 10 bucks per bucket, ordering any fewer would be a waste.

[Dock Street Landing Bar & Grill, 535 E. Dock St., Tacoma, 253.272.5004]