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Aloha Eddie Vedder!

Aloha in every meaning of the word

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Aloha, my good friends!

This is Carmen Jones coming at you live from a Waikiki lanai that overlooks the busiest golf course in the world, and is a stone’s throw from the beach and the sand that I love to sink my pedicured toes into.


I’m here visiting my dear friend from college, Nunja J. She most recently returned from a trip to Southeast Asia.

Her two-month tour was cut short because she, a card-carrying lesbian, got married right before she left. But she didn’t marry a gal, this is a marriage of convenience to help a friend with immigration.

He’s referred to as The H.

Ninja J is incredibly beautiful, and she recently shaved her head and is now sporting a Mohawk.

She had to return to the states so she and The H could travel around to other parts of the island with different wigs to take pictures to record their undeniable love for immigration purposes. Crazy. Hilarious.

Now let’s get clear on one thing: Ninja J is a complete foodie, and there’s a beer opener on the bottom of her flip flop.

So far, I’ve had some of the most amazing food ever, between a mahi mahi plate lunch at this local hangout called Rainbow and this incredible garlic crab and ahi special at a wonderful restaurant called Irifune.  Ahi will forever be ruined for me now because I’ve never had any that good, and I swear they put crack in that garlic crab.

A trip to Hawaii would never be complete without shaved ice. I had the raspberry and watermelon split.

One other thing is for damn sure: I hate being a tourist, and I feel so fortunate to have a local friend.

Ninja J lives with two roommates: The Night Farter and Mr. Sexy Time. Both are great guys and all three are thick as absolute thieves.

Sometimes home seems to follow you wherever you go because an old mainland pal is here, too: Eddie Vedder. He was here to perform with Jack Johnson for the Kokua Festival. Locals don’t waste their money on tickets and overpriced beer, when they can hear the entire show perfectly from the adjoining Kapiolani Park. We barbecued, drank freely, and felt the music.

I sat there underneath the clear stars listening to lofty versions of old favorites such as “Better Man” and the “Elderly Woman” song. As a part of the finale, Johnson and Vedder jointly performed “I Shall be Released.”

This was one of those nights that made you feel like you’d live forever.

Along with that festivity, we’ve obviously been rocking the bars at nightclubs the likes of Fashion 45 and Mad Dog’s, and a local watering hole, Cabana. So much fun.

Last night we were at Cabana, where Scott the Georgia bartender took care of us. I SO wanted to marry his iPod in all of its southern rock splendor.

During the day we’ve been hitting up beaches such as Waikiki and Kahala and taking walks around the majestic Kapiolani Park.

Yesterday we were at a barbecue at a friend’s house, The Hoff. He’s preoccupied with David Hasselhoff. His beautiful wife, Stephanie, had to put him on lockdown for wearing a shirt every day that Ninja J bought him, which says “it’s getting Hoff in here.”

The Hoff also has a cut-out of Tom Sellick in the car that travels with him everywhere he goes. Funny, funny, funny.

That barbecue was no bologna, and after the feast, we adjourned to the jacuzzi. Ahhhh.

Thank you The Hoff and Beautiful Stephanie!

I’m certainly noticing that blondes don’t do so well in Hawaii, which is quite refreshing and part of the reason Natasha adores it so much. The locals LOVE her. That spoiled brat got to come to the islands every year for Christmas with her family. She’ll be flying in for the weekend during the Maui portion of my stay. Fuckin’ workaholic.

Today I’m looking forward to a customized tour of O’ahu, offered by my Ninja J.

We’ll be hitting up some beaches and shrimp shacks along the way.

I feel so lucky to be in a place of paradise with one of truest senses of freedom I’ve ever known.

And this trip continues to introduce even more meaning to the words aloha and mahalo.

I won’t be leaving this bliss till the 30th, so stay tuned.


I’m Carmen, your new chameleon.  Drop me your favorite parties here.

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