Thing: Edible bakery oddities

Made by: Kim Alexander

Business began: Just this year

Already: Balls to the wall busy

Can't say I'm not: A little creeped out

By: Her creations

That: You're supposed to eat

And: Her giddy attitude

At: Something so wrong

I mean, really: Ogre Toes?

And: Witch's Digits?

Tasting like: Almond or maple?

She's: nuts.

What creeped me out the most in the whole scenario was the sheer pleasure Kim Alexander exuded at the thought of making hundreds upon hundreds of popcorn balls that resembled bloody dragon eyeballs.

Alexander must've had a traumatic childhood.  I can only imagine. At what point in life did she decide it would be a good idea to make something so damn ugly that tastes oh so incredibly delicious? 

After making these atrociously divine bakery items for almost 15 years, Alexander's friend Debbie finally convinced her to start a business.  Now selling wildly on Etsy, and all over the nation, Alexander's new company - known as Scrumpalicious Novelty Bakery Arts - seems to be holding its own in the world of handmade items.

Alexander's mental stability seemed questionable when she informed me that James Bond, Ian Fleming, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and Willy Wonka were all inspirations when naming her new novelty bakery business.

But mental stability or not, Alexander seems to have hit the jackpot.

Just in the past month Alexander has made more than 600 "Ogre Toes" cookies, 400 "Witch's Digits" cookies and 150 "Eye of Dragon" popcorn balls. Multitudes of orders have been filled for customers all the way from Tacoma, Texas and New York.

I think if anyone's mental stability needs to be questioned it's mine.  I can't believe this shit!  Alexander just started her bakery business and she's doing so well!

Worried that I might've missed the Halloween goody boat, I asked for future holiday baking plans.  I was informed that thanks to a John Wayne inspiration, Alexander will be creating a butter cream, maple and pumpkin pie-filled cookie appropriately named "Howdy Pilgrim."

"It's going to be huge.  Ten gallons of pure Thanksgiving," Alexander says with a giggle.

"Oh, and for Christmas we'll have the ultimate snowman kit," she adds. "No need to get cold or have yellow snow!"

Come to think of it, Alexander's mental stability is exactly what makes this all so wonderfully amazing.

Find Scrumpalicious Novelty Bakery Arts at Stadium Thriftway in Tacoma and online at: etsy.com/shop/Scrumpalicious or facebook.com/scrumpalicious.nba.