Thing: Meat

Place: Blue Max Sausage Co.

Person: Evan Greco

Who is: One of my favorite butchers

And works in: An everything meat shop

In which: Protein reigns

In the form of: Dead animal

I'm OK with this: As long as I don't know the cow's name

And: It is grilled perfectly

Served with: An ice-cold Bud Light

By: A partially tattooed Italian boy

Wearing: No shirt

Can I get an: Amen

Hey dog owners, guess what? Guess. Just guess. Go ahead and guess what I learned at Blue Max Sausage Co. this week. You know those long, hard "Bully Sticks" you buy at pet stores for your dogs to chew on? Guess what they're made from? Bull penis! Bully sticks are smoked bull penises! 

He he! I still rage into an uncontrollable fit of giggling even as I write this.  Wait, I need a moment to compose myself. Immaturity always seems to get the better of me.

*Cough*

OK, I'm better now.

The reason I know bully sticks are smoked bull penises is because I asked my new favorite butcher (next to Derek Kipapa at Dave's Meats), Evan Greco of Blue Max Sausage Co., if Blue Max makes all its dog products at the store, he sighed deeply and responded, "Yes, because, unfortunately, I'm the one who has to make them." 

"Unfortunately? How so?" I inquired, only to find out the exact procedure Greco uses to nail down the bull penis and hang it for smoking. Of course, he tells me this as I'm halfway engulfed in a bucket full of Blue Max bully sticks, trying eagerly to pick out the biggest one for my boxer puppy.

I immediately wiped the smoked bull penis oil from my hands onto the side of my pants. At that moment, I thanked Proctor & Gamble for creating Tide.

Greco and I then proceeded to discuss the multitude of meat services and products Blue Max has to offer, which include over 20 types of made-in-house sausage, summer sausage, BBQ sauce, many variations of ground meat, trail mix, pepperoni, landjäger, seven types of beef jerky and three types of bologna. 

Blue Max also provides meat combination packages, wild game butchering and special orders, along with supplies to make your own sausage and many dog food and bone-treat options, Blue Max is everything a meat lover could possibly dream of, and everything a vegan wakes up in cold sweats over. Moo.

[Blue Max Sausage Co., 9512 Canyon Road E., Puyallup, 253.535.6110]