I haven't told any good stories lately. I mean this column is called "Grocery Stories" after all. What's the deal? So this week I have a good story and some suggestions for shopping attire etiquette. Do you I have your attention? Yeah, it's pretty weird.
Last night I was invited over to a friend's home to watch Glee. Not a huge fan of the show, but the former choir geek in me secretly likes to watch on occasion. Well my friend told me to dress comfortably and I took her way too literally. I slapped on my Adidas rip-away sweats, a PBR pullover hoodie and slippers. No big deal, right?
Well, on my way over to her house it dawned on me that I hadn't picked up my prescription and I had to have it. Not only that, but it was my second day without coffee in the house because I kept forgetting to buy it! Grrrr.
I turned the car around and headed to Fred Meyer on 19th and Stevens. As I was getting out of the car, I realized what I was wearing and had to pause for a moment. Oh crap. I'm one of THOSE people that are too lazy to at least put tennis shoes on to go shopping. If you know me personally, you know the look I have when I'm overly disgusted by something. Uh, huh ...
Then I thought, what better place to pull this off than this Fred Meyer? I see it all the time. I'll blend in. No one will notice. And no one did, but I felt ... icky. So what better way to feel ickier? Post it on Facebook as my status. "Pulled a total WT tonight: walked into Fred Meyer with my sweats and slippers. In my defense, I was going to a friends to watch "Glee". Here are a few of the many responses:
"This is daily for me" - Tanya D.
"I was going to write "there goes my boner" but that would be wrong" - Eric G.
"Wow I would have never taken Kris Blondin for one of those slippers in public people...do you slipper people ever think hey what if there's a fire? - Craig A.
The last one hit a nerve. But it got me thinking, what IS the proper dress for certain grocery stores? How about Fred Meyer: as we all know, the slippers and sweats thing can work for certain FM stores, but maybe not so much for the two in University Place. There are greater expectations over on the west side.
North end stores like the Metropolitan Market? Sweats can work, but they should be super expensive name brand like REI and absolutely NO slippers of ANY kind. Other Safeways, Albertsons, and Top Foods are any kind of "sweats friendly" for sure, and perhaps indoor/outdoor slippers are acceptable, but not the pink grandma kind. Sorry Grandma.
Here's the thing. I'm as lazy as the next guy, but you won't be seeing me pull that off at the grocery store again. Part of me longs for the days when people used to get all dressed up to go out just about anywhere, whether it be the grocery store, taking a trip on a plane, or even a doctor appointment. But then, I don't.
So, I eventually made it to my friend's house, had a drink, and watched Glee (eh). Then made it home to my lovely husband and sure enough he said, "You wore that out?" He doesn't even know the half of it. ...