Todd’s totally awesome wife, Wendy, allowed me to kidnap him out of their infamous Infinite Soups kitchen for a brief moment and chill a while over at neighboring bar, Malarky’s. Before I could even create an ass mark in one of Malarky’s benches, Todd had a Pabst Blue Ribbon tall-boy in front of him and was ready to talk Nazis.

STEPH DEROSA: Wow, that’s amazing. You already have a beer in front of you.

TODD DESHAZO: It helps me think better, especially when talking to you.

DEROSA: When is the projected opening of your new Sanford and Son location?

DESHAZO: We have our fingers crossed for the beginning of July. It all depends on the Health Department.

DEROSA: Damn PCHD and their stupid codes. A little bout of Botulism never hurt anyone.

DESHAZO: No, that’s not true.

DEROSA: Fine, whatever. Tell me what type of customer irritates you the most? Besides me.

DESHAZO: Damn. I was going to say “you.” I’d have to say the type that mumble to each other or doesn’t acknowledge us when we ask them what they want. Tell us you’re not ready or something, but don’t ignore us.

DEROSA: Jerks. A lot of people do love you guys. I bet you have a lot of regulars.

DESHAZO: Yeah, we have a lot of “Steady Eddies.”

DEROSA: “Steady Eddies?” I like that term!

DESHAZO: I just made it up. Cool, huh?

DEROSA: Very. What about the term “Soup Nazi.” A lot of people call you that.

DESHAZO: I HATE THAT! I am so sick of that term!

DEROSA: I agree. It’s pretty played out.

DESHAZO: It was played out when it was first on Seinfeld, and that was about twenty years ago! We call it the “N” word. You don’t say the “N” word around us.

DEROSA: You’re serious, aren’t you? You hate that word, A LOT.

DESHAZO: What if we were Jewish? That could be very offensive.

DEROSA: Excellent point. I never thought of it like that.

DESHAZO: Sometimes, I’m surprised you think at all.

DEROSA: I try not too. It depletes my energy. Are you done with your beer already?

DESHAZO: Sitting here with you depletes my energy, and I just realized that no amount of beer can make it better. We’re done here.

DEROSA: That’s not the first time a man has told me that.