Today is Cinco de Mayo. Almost none of the clubs or bars are doing anything special. Is it because they've all gotten wise to the fact that the South Sound doesn't really need a reason to party?

Wednesday, April 27

Ahhhh, COLLEGE PARTIES.  No matter how old you get, they're the same. Everyone crowds the kitchen, drinking beer so fast it barely sits in the fridge long enough to be cold. GO MUSIC and I leaned against the counter, he scoping out college hotties in flip-flops and skirts. I looked for one guy who looked older than THE KID. Yeah, turns out Go, REJJIE and RED JAKE were it. Feeling nostalgic, I inquired of our LOVELY HOSTESS KIRSTEN where the beer bong might be. She led me to the front hall closet, giving a halfhearted search among the mountain of coats, shoes, and miscellaneous items crammed in ceiling high.  (Later, I'll count my lucky stars we didn't find it).  In the living room, CERAMIC ARTIST     SHANNON WAS SURFING ON A BOARD balanced on a 6-by-12-by-4 inch pipe. Trick is to stay upright and not get flung across the room. She pulled it off well and in a sassy green dress to boot.

Thursday, April 28

"SIDEWAYS" is a great movie. If wine is one of the items on your Top Ten Things You Love, you'll want to buy it.  A few lines from the film are more than memorable, they're classic.  "SHUT UP. YOU SHUT YOUR FACE AND SHUT UP." I just love that; I think it's hilarious, in fact. Then there's Paul Giamatti's "miles running down the hill guzzling straight from the bottle without breaking stride" scene that had me laughing with my mouth wide open.  BIG MAN B and I watched it while drinking what?  Wine, of course. You kinda have to.

Friday, April 29

WEEKLY VOLCANO BARFLY BRAD ALLEN AND I TORE IT UP LACEY STYLE, but first ... a very civilized meal at RICARDO'S ON LACEY BOULEVARD. Honey glazed bone-in pork tenderloin, filet mignon and a tasty Cabernet that I can't spell or say the name of. Then off to the dive bar parade. We strolled into the LOG CABIN TAVERN just after 10 p.m. Everybody in the joint appeared to be LAST CALL HAMMERED. The girl puking in the bathroom agreed with me. Next three stops were so dull, we walked in and came right back out. The NISQUALLY BAR & GRILL was kinda cool. You could buy a drill, cans of peanuts or a flame resistant yellow racecar suit.  We had Jäger bombs and then blew on out to FARRELLI'S PIZZA AND POOL CO. IN DUPONT for the nicest non-smoking pull tab bar ever. Good shots though. Crown and butterscotch - I had forgotten I like that.  Brad said Tillicum is the last stop but that it can be dicey at 1 a.m. To this I replied, grinning, "Yes, please." What we got was this: overpriced drinks, guys with scary hair and girls with bad clothes. They don't know it's 2005, probably not even 1995 at that. I think Brad lied. You can get that kind of bad anywhere. I wanted ex-con, shady past, really low lighting kind of bad.

Saturday, April 30

THE HOT ROLLERS, dressed as Catholic schoolgirls, rocked the freak outta the JAVA JIVE. They brought trampolines and other girls in similar attire to do the bouncing. THE GLORYHOLES' singer sang from the crowd, cordless mic in hand, vocally belting everyone and TRASHING CHRIS TRASHCAN OF THE MEXICAN BLACKBIRDS WITH BEER. The singer actually sat with one of his buddies, MR. STOCKINGER, (still singing, mind you) and didn't lose any of the huge energy that is the Gloryholes. Sweet, sweet fun.  THE SCUZZTONES opened the night dressed as CAPT. KIRK, SPOCK AND SCOTTY.  Incredible set with vintage flicks, skuzzy rock ‘n' roll and singer Kurt's one-liners.  We ... were ... destroyed!

Sunday, May 1

Brunch at PUGET SOUND PIZZA was aww'ight.  The walk on Ruston was better (except for the enormous blister). So we're sitting there in the corner at the SIDE DOOR LOUNGE, discussing HELL'S KITCHENS' upcoming show Saturday with NOMEANSNO.  JONES, a longtime fan, calls them an "ENGINE OF FURY" and goes into what he obviously deems a near perfect impression of the guitar player. Yeah, we'll see.