So I have been holding my own REALITY SHOW in my bedroom. Before anyone gets worked up, it ain't that kind of show!  I bought a fish tank more than a year ago as a housewarming present for myself in September 2003. October 2004 I dusted it off and finally filled it with water and pretty rocks and - TAHDAH! - goldfish. I got three at PETsMART. The guy warned me that they probably wouldn't live longer than two weeks, but he said I should start with them to get the water's pH correct.  I PLOPPED THE FISHES IN and named them Eenie, Meanie and Minnie ('cause I don't need no stinkin' Moe). Thirty-seven days into SURVIVOR FISH TANK, Eenie, the smallest, bit the dust. The carcass got caught right under the bubble spout thing (technical term) and looked to be thrashing back and forth. Closer inspection revealed one missing eye and no guts. The other two fish were freakin' out, so burial ceremonies were instantly held in the bathroom (flush). Minnie went Sunday night just after midnight. I know this for sure because I looked at the two gold buddies as I was getting in bed. Ten minutes later, Minnie was a floater. So I guess MEANIE IS THE WINNER of Survival Fish Tank. Just goes to show, it doesn't always pay to be nice.

Since I played the hibernation game over my four-day Christmas weekend, I'm going to share a bit o' stuff I've been hearing lately.  Sound good? Let's begin.

EX-DRUMMER FOR THE OUTFIT says his new project, loosely being called BLACKWELL, should be ready for shows in January or February. BLOND HOTTIE KYLE is an excellent drummer, so you know this new band will have some power behind it. If they've any of the fury The Outfit did with Kyle hittin' the skins, prepare to be blown away.

THE SHOW MEDIA'S JOEY G is off roaming the country with SHERI after her recent split with a longtime bad-boy boyfriend. I never would have thought it, but they play like the perfect couple. Hmmm, love (and lust) cometh in all forms.

DOLLARSTORE COWBOYS played their farewell show at Hell's Kitchen Dec. 10, marking an end of an era, you might say. Have no fear - those rockabilly bad asses are not gone for good. Looks like Dollarstore and FANTASTIC FOUR band members are hitting the practice room the first week of January. The new ATOMIC OUTLAWS will be bringin' it live in March with some good old rock ‘n' roll.

Booking Agent REJJIE BISHOP has been jamming with IMPERIOUS URGE, a new Coli Loach side project. They'll be playing late February or March. The pieces I've heard yell, "LOOK THE FREAK OUT."  I can see it now, Imperious tearing up Fenders' stage. The crowd, shocked with mouths open, busts into roars letting devil horns fly. By the way, Rejjie is now single so ladies ... it's on. He is a bit of an ass, but no one's perfect.

Speaking of devil horns, in an "SNL" rerun during my television watching-ham dinner gluttony-repeated napping marathon, KELIS was the musical guest. I think a song about jiggly tatas is great, but leave it on the radio. Boy, that girl could not sing live, and to my horror, her band did the song all hard and rocker-esque.  The deathblow struck in the final moments of this sad, sad performance when Kelis flung her arm up in the air and flared the devil's headdress. Is nothing sacred, I ask you?

Next week, we go over the best and worst things I saw, heard and did in 2004.