Losing a child is one of the worst things a parent can imagine. Losing two children, within one year, is quite simply unimaginable.

For retired Maj. Gen. Mark Graham and his wife, Carol, this is a reality that they have coped with for close to a decade since the losses of their sons Kevin Graham and 2^nd Lt. Jeffrey Graham.

It is a sad reality that is present every moment of every day, no matter how the years fly by.

"We'll never be the same after losing our boys...we laugh now but it is never the same. It took us a long time to even get to that point. You never truly get through it," Graham shared.

The Grahams parented three children, Jeff, Kevin and Melanie, all of whom they describe as being highly competitive, driven and well rounded. Their two sons even made the decision to follow in dad's footsteps in the military.

"I never encouraged them to join the Army or apply to ROTC, so I was surprised that they pursued this, but I was proud that they wanted to be an engineer and a doctor, respectively, in the Army," explained Graham, who recently ended his own 34-year Army career last May. "I was humbled."

In the months leading up to his suicide, Kevin had discovered that he was experiencing some depression and started to do research. He also called his mom, who was stationed in Korea with Graham, to tell her that this was going on and that he'd begun to see psychologist.

Unfortunately, despite having seen a fit, healthy-looking Kevin just a month earlier when Graham and Carol flew home for Jeff's commissioning, he was found dead from self-inflicted injuries in June of 2003. Graham speculated that the increased workouts were not just to prepare Kevin for his upcoming ROTC training, but also to increase his serotonin levels so he could stop taking the medicine that he had been prescribed.

"I didn't know you could die from being too sad," said Graham. "Everyone gets sad, but you just keep going...I didn't realize it, but for Kevin, when he got sad, it was a challenge to really go on."

Following his brother's untimely death, Jeff was offered a chance to stay behind while his unit deployed, but he chose to go downrange with his Soldiers.

"As a father I did not want him to go, but as a Soldier, I understood that he wanted and needed to go," Graham said.

Then, in February of 2004, Jeff was killed by a roadside bomb in Iraq and a second tragedy rocked the Graham family. After taking time to grieve and come to terms with this second loss, Graham was asked to speak at a Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) in 2006.

"I told them I couldn't go and just speak about Jeff and not about Kevin...our sons died fighting different battles, but still they are both gone. I wanted to educate the attendees on suicide prevention too," he said.

The TAPS representatives were immediately onboard with the idea and that was the catalyst for Graham and Carol to take action.

"We go around and speak because we don't want any other families to lose someone to suicide," he said. "The message is that depression is diagnosable and treatable. There is help."

Though some have questioned Graham's stance that publicizing and acknowledging depression as a real threat can help to cure more people and, as a result, decrease suicides, he maintains that it is possible.

"If you say I'm just having some depression or mental problems, people look at you differently. There is a stigma," stated Graham. "We were guilty of the stigma ourselves when Kevin spoke to us - we thought ‘no, not our son, he's going to be an Army doctor.' We want to eliminate the stigma across the country and let people know it is ok to ask for and receive help."

He cited breast cancer as an example of how public acceptance can lead to higher rates of survival.

"Years ago you didn't mention cancer or even the word breast, but nowadays every athlete is wearing pink and it is a very normal to talk about, which means that individuals are more comfortable coming forward to get help - it became socially acceptable to deal with it publically and survive," he observed.

It seems that the military powers-that-be agree; a crisis number has been launched for any active duty Servicemember who is experiencing suicidal thoughts or for military family members to call if they spot a mental-health situation within their home, (800) 273-8255. This action was in response to the devastating numbers released by the Department of Defense this January, which reported that more than 349 Servicemembers took their own lives in 2012, an increase of 15 percent.

Graham is clear that he and Carol want to help everyone they can, not just those in the military, because this can effect anyone and any family.

"Some people will always think a person is weak if they are battling depression - but if a person is facing diabetes or cancer, we don't think they are weak. It is a disease, we should treat it the same way," he said.

As this is a matter that affects the entire family, the hope is that with three sessions, more family members can attend. The event is not appropriate for children or teenagers, though it is open to the entire JBLM community to include all I Corps and tenant unit military, civilians, significant others of Servicemembers and extended families.

There will be two presentations on March 1, at 1 p.m. and then at 7 p.m., and one on March 2, at 10 a.m. Each session will last approximately 90 minutes and take place at Carey Theater, 2163 Liggett Ave., JBLM Main.

""Losing one person is too many," Graham concluded. "But one way to become more resilient is to have knowledge. Admitting and knowing that something is wrong and asking for the help to fix it can make a difference."