Sometimes shitty stuff happens. Sometimes good people die and sometimes good things come to an end.

So is the case with the recent closure of Seattle’s famed Crocodile Café.

Like a sucker punch on Monday, news broke that the Crocodile Café was no longer. My initial response was disbelief. Crocodile employees received messages from Stephanie Dorgan, the Croc’s owner, which according to the Seattle PI informed them, “They should not report for work any longer â€" the Crocodile Cafe has been closed because of financial difficulties.” The news ricocheted from blog to blog into Monday night, and wading through the many responses popping up out there on the World Wide Web, there’s not a soul who’s happy about this development.

Not even Satan himself.

Monday was a sad day for Northwest local music. I know clubs close all the time, and eventually the void will be patched, but there will never be another Crocodile Café.  This is a loss that will sting for a long time. â€" Matt Driscoll

THE DAILY WORD
Learn it, use it, spell it

Dyspeptic \dis-PEP-tik\, adjective:
1. Of, pertaining to, or having dyspepsia (indigestion).
2. Irritable or ill-humored, as if suffering from dyspepsia; morose; gloomy.

USAGE EXAMPLE: During football season, Mondays are the most dyspeptic days of the week for Bobble Tiki. There’s something about spending all Sunday feverishly ingesting nacho cheese, Doritos of all shapes and flavors, and Coors Light that never seems to sit well come Monday. Bobble Tiki’s not sure if he feels worse for his overtaxed stomach or those sitting down wind from him at Weekly Volcano World Headquarters.

THE MORNING NEWS
FIFE: Get out you ho!

SOUTH SOUND: No more burning rubber.

CALIFORNIA: Coffee for full stop.

NEW JERSEY: Making the naughty list.

HUSTLER OF CULTURE
You can stand atop the mountain and scream your naked desires to the universe or shed that synapse epilepsy and hug the South Sound today with your fellow man:

MUSIC: Bobble Tiki doesn’t know much about Haunted Haus, who as part of a week long tour up the coast from San Jose will hit Le Voyeur in Oly tonight, but he has gathered a few things. Number one: the main dude in Haunted Haus (Bobble Tiki thinks sometimes there are more) has a very impressive beard. If Bobble Tiki was able to grow hair on his face he’d want it to look just like the dude from Haunted Haus â€" whose name Bobble Tiki does not know. Number two: Haunted Haus kicks it folk style, kind of like Karl Blau at times, only prettier, and heavier on the acoustic. Haunted Haus will play Le Voyeur tonight with Tad’s Dream and the Brian Wakefield Experience. It’ll be day five of the tour, so if nothing else help Haunted Haus out with some gas money.

MORE MUSIC: What's on tonight.

THE ARTS:  Grab some culture today.

THE FILMS: On local screens today.

BOBBLE TIKI'S THREATS AND PROMISES COLUMN
This week Bobble Tiki is focused on comedy, and specifically Jason Stewart’s show tonight at Jazzbones. A well known name around these parts, thanks to a 13-year professional career that has featured heavy doses of the Comedy Underground and Jazzbones Comedy Night, Stewart is one of the funniest individuals Bobble Tiki has ever met. Check out Bobble Tiki's story here.

Breakfast with Bobble Tiki runs Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays.  Deal with it.

THE HOLIDAYS
Christmas Revels
Nothing says “the holidays are here” like a romping, roaring evening of pagan-inspired celebration. A seasonal tradition since 1992, the Christmas Revels returns to the Rialto Theater with performances of music, dance, and other entertainment in honor of the original Christmas, the winter solstice. This year, the Puget Sound Revels go Eastern Europe with a retelling of the Russian folk tale, “The Fool of the World and the Flying Ship,” through music, song and dance. Added bonus: Portland’s sultry European Gypsy troupe Vagabond Opera and the Seattle Brass Ensemble will be in the house. Normal audience and performer roles may blur at the Revels, so make sure to bring your best voice. â€" Suzy Stump

[Rialto Theater, 7:30 p.m., also Dec. 19 7:30 p.m., $9-$25.50, 310 S. Ninth St., Tacoma, 253. 591. 5894]

COMEDY
Jason Stewart
A well known comic around these parts, thanks to a 13-year professional career that has featured heavy doses of the Comedy Underground and Jazzbones Comedy Night, Stewart is one of the funniest individuals Bobble Tiki has ever met. Not only will Stewart be bringing down the house with laughs tonight at Jazzbones, but he’ll be recording the magic for a DVD he hopes to release early next year. â€" Bobble Tiki

[Jazzbones, with Susan Jones and Ralph Porter, Tuesday, Dec. 18,  8 p.m., all ages, $5, 2803 Sixth_Ave., Tacoma, 253.396.9169]

MORE MUSIC: In the clubs tonight.

FILM
Lars And The Real Girl
Ryan Gosling plays Lars Lindstrom, a painfully shy young man who can barely stand the touch of another human being.  One day he orders a life-sized love doll through the Internet, using “Bianca” not for sex but for companionship.  He expects everyone else to treat the doll the same way, including his brother (Paul Schneider), sister-in-law (Emily Mortimer) and therapist (Patricia Clarkson).  Only after the movie is over do you realize what a balancing act it was, what risks it took, what rewards is contains.  Directed by Craig Gillespie, written by Nancy Oliver (“Six Feet Under”). Rated PG-13. Three and a half stars â€" Roger Ebert

[The Grand Cinema, 3:45 and 8:50 p.m., $4.50-$8, 606 S. Fawcett Ave., Tacoma, 253.593.4474]

The Tacoma Art Museum grabbed a platinum award and an honorable mention for the right side of its brain. 

• PRESS RELEASE: The MarCom Awards, administered and judged by Association of Marketing and Communication Professionals, selected Tacoma Art Museum’s promotional poster for the recent Sparkle Then Fade exhibition for the Platinum Award. The promotional postcard for a free community festival related to the Frida Kahlo: Images of an Icon exhibition received an honorable mention. Both pieces were designed by Tacoma Art Museum’s staff graphic designer, Pei Pei Sung.

After small crowds the Tacoma Farmers Market's board of directors suspended its Dome District location for next season.

"The board came to its decision about the Dome District after an intensive review," said Richard Hines, TFM's board president, in a release. "We are grateful to the loyal vendors, shoppers, and sponsors who have supported this market, but the profitability is just not there yet."

So, a grocery store it out of the question I guess. â€" Suzy Stump

MSM's Papa Giki

Last time I was in MSM Grocery II & Deli was eight years ago. I saw insects in their pastry case, so I haven’t been back since.  I hold grossness grudges when it comes to where I dine. But all I hear from my friends is how amazing their sandwiches are, what a great beer selection they have, and that they carry a wide array of Trojans.  So yeah, that means I have to go check it out, right?

They have some cookies off to the side.  They look boring.  My stomach starts hurting as I think of how I have to taste another boring chocolate chip.  Then I see a packaged cookie on the counter.  It’s a Bavarian Dark Chocolate Toasted Almond Golden Raisin Coconut and Flax cookie.  Flax?  100 percent whole grain?  Omega 3?   Fiber?  This thing has to taste like shit, so I buy it.  I was intrigued, alright?  So shut up.

It was G-damned delicious.  I kid you not, the cookie was amazing.  It’s made locally in Tacoma, and apparently he sells the heck out of his stuff online here.

So that’s that.  Get your fiber, flax, grains, chocolate, coconuts, raisins, and almonds all right here in this cookie.  And while you’re at it you can pick up a tall boy and some Trojans. â€" Steph DeRosa

MORE COOKIES: See what's already in our cookie jar.

CLASSICAL
Handel's "Messiah"
A who’s-who of Olympia orchestras and choirs â€" Student Orchestras of Greater Olympia, Masterworks Choral Ensemble, Olympia Chamber Orchestra, Olympia Choral Society, Olympia Symphony Orchestra and Opera Pacifica â€" perform Handel’s glorious masterpiece for you to sing along. â€" Suzy Stump

[Washington Center, 7:30 p.m., free, 512 Washington St., Olympia, 360. 753. 8586]

ROCK
Red Elvises
With an energy that is unsurpassed, this Russian quartet combines the ethnic music of their homeland with good ol’ fashion rock ’n’ roll for a sound that is fun and fresh. Think polka music with a vintage Elvis Presley vibe. Adorned in metallic suits, the band is as fun visually as they are musically. â€" Tony Engelhart

[The Swiss Pub, 8 p.m., $8, 1904 S. Jefferson Ave., Tacoma, 253.572.2821]

MORE MUSIC: In the clubs tonight.

Well I’ll start by saying that there is no way in HELL any sort of cookies are going to be served this week at Dinner with DeRosa.  I love ‘em, don’t get me wrong, but my body can’t take it anymore.  I need a break.  I need some salads, some broccoli, something organically nutritious.  I can feel myself getting fatter by the day. 

My first guest for my salad buffet night is Chris Smith.  She’s another reason I feel fat. As I’ve mentioned in a past Toilet Tales, I am a huge fan breakfasts at the Sheraton, oops I mean Murano.  I love, love, love their Benedict Florentine.  I love it so much that we go there a few times a month.  Chris always hooks us up with service to compliment my high maintenance family.  When we order it’s like the “When Harry Met Sally” scene where she modifies the f*** out of everything.  Chris is cool enough to automatically know what we want when we walk in the door.  I would say I feel proud, but I’m actually a tad ashamed.  Nah, not really.

Next is Don Helm.  Bartendeurrrrre Extra-oridairrrre.  (Roll the R’s and throw in a French accent, you’ll like it.)  (Then do it anytime you say a word with an R in it.)  (I’ll bet you start doing it all the time because it’s so fun.)  (OK, I’m done with the parenthesis.)  Anyway, Don is a troublemaker.  I met him when I attended the Master Builder’s Association President’s Ball held at the world-renown Greater Tacoma Convention and Trade Center last Thursday night.  The reason he’s a troublemaker: One of Mr. DeRosa’s employees was too hung-over to work the next day and had to go home early with a case of white-face.  Mmmmhmmmm, Don, your ass is going to be handed over to my husband when you get here. 

My next victim is Katie, owner of House of Tattoo.  I adore her, she’s my friend, and there’s really no need for me to explain further.  She kicks ass, takes names, and then knits them fingerless mittens.  Here’s a picture of ol’ Katie giving me a Magnolia on my wrist.  What’s really weird is the very next day, my grandma whom the Magnolia represented, passed away.  Yes, she was sick, but she’d been sick for 10 years.  So it really was kinda sudden.  Katie texted me the next day to check on the ink and I told her she killed my grandma.

The most important guest this week is Jaime Kay Newton.  This chick owns the Top of Tacoma Bar, is one of the nicest people I’ve ever met.  I can’t wait to hang out with her even more in January, as she is hosting our next Tacoma Beer Society meeting.  What’s really cool is she OFFERED to change up some beers for us.  Not a great stretch for her though, seeing as how she has some really cool and really rare microbrews on tap everyday.  And she blows through the kegs like crazy, so she’s always changing them out to different types.  Just want to throw that little fact out there, particularly to the asshole beer distributor I had the unfortunate experience of talking to the other night.  But I’ll save that story for a future Toilet Tales.

Ah, and yes, then there’s cutie booty Jesse Ray Serles.  I want to put him in my pocket and take him home.  He and his band the Fucking Eagles will definitely have to be at my salad buffet this week.  They’re going to have to warm up anyway for their Dec. 26 27 show at Top of Tacoma Bar. 

Well I’m certainly glad to have my guest list, menu, and bartender figured out.  It should all be mmmmmm mmmm, tasty.   And by tasty I’m talking about both the salad bar and Jesse.

Mangiamo! â€" Steph DeRosa