THE MORNING AFTER >>>

Huzzah! You've almost made it. You've almost survived another year. New Year's Day arrives Tuesday. You just have to get pass New Year's Eve with its night of kissing strangers, knocking over tables and next day hangover when you're feeling like a Mac truck full of manure has run you down. The only fer-sure hangover cure in the world is -drum roll, Maestro, for the kids watching TV - abstinence. Yup. Horrible, awful, abstinence. We here at the Weekly Volcano know better than to advocate such silliness. The only real cure is the infamous hangover breakfast.

Dedicated servers and bartenders will be open for business New Year's morning to fill your belly and get you back to normalcy.

Tacoma staple Shakabrah Java serves up the goods like home fries, flavorful scrambles such as tofu and self-service piping hot cups of Joe. It opens at 9 a.m. for your breakfast needs. 2618 Sixth Ave., Tacoma, 253.572.2787

Dirty Oscar's isn't usually open for breakfast on weekdays but is making an exception specifically to cure your New Year hangover. Nosh on breakfast staples with Chef Aaron's flair such as elk hash and Captain Crunch French toast perfectly paired with moonshine breakfast cocktails from noon to 4 p.m. 2309 Sixth Ave., Tacoma, 253.572.0588

Greasy spoon perfection can be found at Marcia's Silver Spoon Cafe. This little gem (literally it's a small place) is easily missed while zipping down South Tacoma Way, but not oft forgotten once you've dined. Open from 8 a.m. to 3 p.m. Marcia's will be providing relief for that raging headache with healthy portions of hotcakes and more. Cold hard cash is only accepted. 2601 South Tacoma Way, Tacoma, 253.472.0157

Old Milwaukee Cafe on Sixth Avenue is unassuming, tucked into a corner building just daring you to drive on by. But don't do it! Each pancake takes up an entire plate and is just as much huckleberry as it is pancake, which just about made me bow down to worship this breakfast concoction. 3102 Sixth Ave., Tacoma, 253.761.2602

Auntee B's in Puyallup looks and feels like a small town diner with its comfortable atmosphere and grub. It will be open bright and early at 6 a.m. - wakey wakey eggs and bacey. 213 N. Meridian, Puyallup, 253.435.8833

Burs in Lakewood is popular with the "older folks." The seasoned partiers know gravy is a cure all for your hangover symptoms. The S.O.S. is the word. 6151 Steilacoom Blvd. SW, Lakewood, 253.588.4844

Carrs Restaurant & Bar is your best option if you seek monstrous-sized portions for your first meal of the year. The Lakewood joint serves Jolly Green Giant portions and damn tasty to boot. 11006 Bridgeport Way SW, Lakewood, 253.584.4622

Happy New Year you crazy kids.

LONG-ASS MOVIES THIS WEEKEND >>>

It's been nine long years since the Lord of the Rings trilogy wrapped up. Nine, precious! But no longer will you have to suffer in darkness, far from all things Middle Earth. No, precious, things will now change. An entirely new trilogy based on The Hobbit will hit movie screens Dec. 14, and word on the nerd streets is that these movies carry the torch well - with higher frame rates and better CGI.

To help you rekindle your LotR flame, many theater chains are putting on a marathon of all three movies Saturday, Dec. 8 and Sunday, Dec. 9. Some theaters are showing extended versions, but all feature a special intro by director Peter Jackson. If you haven't done the math, this marathon goes more than nine hours for the theatrical release version and more than 11 hours for the extended versions.

Count on busting out your catheter or adult diaper.

Saturday, Dec. 8

• Galaxy Narrows: 10 a.m., $20, 2208 Mildred St. W., Tacoma, 10 a.m., $20
• Galaxy Gig Harbor: 10 a.m., 2 and 7 p.m., $20, 4649 Point Fosdick Dr. NW, Gig Harbor
• Regal Lakewood 15: 11:15 a.m., $30 via Fandango, 2410 84th St. S., Lakewood
• Regal Longston Place Stadium 14: 11:15 a.m., $30 via Fandango, 13317 Meridian St. E., Puyallup
• Regal Martin Village Stadium 16 and IMAX: $30 via Fandango, 5400 E. Martin Way, Lacey
• AMC Loews Lakewood Towne Center 12 (extended versions): 10 a.m., $25, 5721 Main St. SW, Lakewood

Saturday, Dec. 8 and Sunday, Dec. 9

• Century Olympia (extended versions): 11 a.m., $25, 625 Black Lake Blvd. SW, Olympia

ONLINE CHATTER >>>

Yesterday's comments of the day come from Becky Knold and Maureen Murphy who give thumbs up to Alec Clayton's review of Bob's Koch's show at the Pierce College Gallery in Lakewood.

Becky writes,

Ever since I first saw Bob Koch's paintings at an Arts Olympia meeting a couple years back, I've been a fan. They are such whimsical, curiously odd, more-than-slightly-distorted images of people whom we must all feel we've known in our own life. They capture the gesture and the character of people involved in life and interactions. The combination of drawn and painted lines, the overlapping and building up of a history of strokes make me feel that I understand how the artist worked his way through. It's not about "perfection", but about getting the feel of the moment portrayed. Great Job, Robert Koch, and thanks for the excellent review by Alec Clayton.

Maureen writes,

I have been a big fan of Bob Koch's new work this past year. I have purchased four of the paintings called "four on a couch." When I look at his work I feel like an active participant in the scene or sometimes just wish I were there. His energetic and loose drawings over paint that looks like pastel, have a wonderfully intimate sense.
I have a good time viewing and hanging Bob Koch's mostly playful, and sometimes sad paintings. Bob Koch is incredibly in tune with humanity.

Barring any new Movember drunken people donning mustaches photos, the Weekly Volcano is going to use the holiday as an excuse to take a rare day off. So, please people, for our sake, dig out that ol' music box that plays "Born Free," open a new doughnut shop or start your own Pacific Avenue Streetscape Project.

And we totally want photos of your family's fight to the death over who has the damn Tupperware. The Weekly Volcano knows every year someone brings Tupperware to collect leftovers and every effing year it disappears.

We'll all see you back here tomorrow for 5 Things To Do, The Weekend Hustle and other glorious posts.

Remember: baste often.

LINK: Movies

TUESDAY, NOV. 13, 2012 >>>

1. The Swiss Pub and science are synonymous. OK, so maybe they're not quite synonymous, but they do go together quite well - the "Tacoma Science Café" at the Swiss proves it. Tonight, U.S. Geological Survey's Chris Magirl, Ph.D., will discuss the causes of floods and approaches to reduce the threats of flooding in our communities. The dicussion and beer begin at 6:30 p.m.

2. Today is International Chowder Day. Yahoo! In celebration of said day Duke’s Chowder House on the Ruston waterfront will hand out free small bowls of chowder during operating hours.

3. Several Tuskegee Airmen will drop by the annual meeting of the Lakewood Historical Society to share stories. The celebration begins at 7 p.m. inside St Mary's Episcopal Church next to the Lakewood Library.

4. Maria Sampen, Tim Christie and David Requiro will perform the music of Zoltan Kodaly, Gordon Jacob and J.S. Bach as part of the Classical Tuesdays In Old Town series. The trio hit the chairs at 7 p.m. inside the Slavonian Hall.

5. Get your groove on tonight in Parkland. DJ spins during "$2 Tuesdays" at Lady Luck Cowgirl Up, offering Top 40 action plus $2 wells and drafts. The good times start at 9 p.m. Or, if you're looking for something more, peruse the Volcano's extensive live local music listings here. 

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

LINK: Live music and DJs in the South Sound

FRIDAY, NOV. 9, 2012 >>>

1. Who really knows jack about Zen? Apparently the Second City Chamber does. Tonight it presents "Zen Pathways," a concert featuring meditative musical landscapes by Claude Debussy, Sophia Gubaidulina, Alan Hovhaness and Michio Miyagi at the Tacoma Art Museum. Some have scoffed at Zen. But don't be fooled! There's something going on here, something powerful and clandestine. You must infiltrate the center and report back with all Second City Chamber's secrets. You must tell us of all its inner machinations. We are trusting you with this reconnaissance mission - just you. 7:30 p.m., $10-$27, Tacoma Art Museum, 1701 Pacific Ave., Tacoma, 253.572.TUNE

2. Mozart's The Magic Flute is a perennial favorite that lacks the depth of Mozart's collaborations with librettist da Ponte, but it is hard to resist the broadly drawn characters and brilliant writing. A great beginner opera, especially for mature children. Check it out tonight inside Lagerquist Concert Hall. 8 p.m., 8 p.m., $5-$15, Pacific Lutheran University, Parkland, 253.535.7411

3. Shakespeare was totally punk rock. Almost four centuries before rock and roll was invented, he was writing about sex and drugs. He messed around with gender roles long before David Bowie and Iggy Pop; he didn't shy away from discussing how horrible and violent society could be; he thumbed his nose at the establishment by weaving coded messages about the rebel Catholic underground and making fun of the upper class. Tonight, the Lakewood Playhouse presents Shakespeare's tale of love, lies, gender-bending bouts of mistaken identity and mustaches that is Twelfth Night. The Playhouse warns there will be audience participation, romance and occurrences of bawdiness. Yes! 8 p.m., $18-$24, 5729 Lakewood Towne Center Blvd. SW, Lakewood, 253.588.0042

4. Former Saturday Night Live funnyman Tim Meadows has stayed busy lately on Curb Your Enthusiasm, The Office and The Daily Show and brings his standup act to the Tacoma Comedy Club tonight. 8 and 10:30 p.m., $20, 933 Market St., Tacoma, 253.282.7203

5. The Kim Archer Band will fill Jazzbones with R&B and blues beginning at 7:30 p.m. $7-$10, 2803 Sixth Ave., Tacoma, 253.396.9169

LINK: Friday, Nov. 9 arts and entertainment events in the greater Tacoma and Olympia area

Last night as the Weekly Volcano went to press, Proposition 1 - the measure that would raises sales tax within Pierce Transit's boundaries by three-tenths of 1 percent - was still too close to call. If passed, the Pierce Transit board says it will increase service hours from 419,000 to 515,000 by 2017 and restore special event service, such as Puyallup Fair routes, which were cut last year when voters said no to increased funding.

Pierce Transit riders are clutching the bus handrails. A no vote most likely means no night and no weekend service, and a slashing to some daily routes. To those with disabilities, reduced bus service means a loss of jobs.

"As an organization we do not have the resources or infrastructure to provide transportation. There is no viable alternative for people," says Ken Gibson, executive director of TACID, the agency that promotes the independence of individuals with disabilities. "The Pierce County Coordinated Transportation Coalition is working on these issues, but it is extremely complex and expensive - this is a core reason why it isn't provided for privately. It is expensive and seen as a public good rather than a profitable enterprise."

This morning, Seattle Weekly staff writer Matt Driscoll, a public transit rider, posted an update on SW's Daily Weekly blog.

With the fate of Pierce County's bus service literally hanging in the balance, Gig Harbor City Council and Pierce Transit Board of Commissioners member Derek Young said somberly Tuesday night that he remained hopeful later voting returns would save Pierce Transit's Prop 1 from the demise it seemed headed for. Initial returns showed the three-tenths of one percent sales tax hike in Pierce Transit's boundary area failing, albeit it by a slim margin.

"There's still a path to victory," Young said Wednesday morning. "The gap narrowed a bit last night, but we need some big movement from tonight's results."

Wednesday evening brought a movement. And then a slight retreat.

Results released at 4:40 p.m. provided the glimmer of hope transit proponents had been waiting for. Though Prop 1 still trailed, the deficit was down to 735 votes. Young told me Pierce Transit officials estimated 110,000 Pierce Transit district ballots were yet to be counted at that point.

If things continued to trend in Prop 1's direction, this meant enough ballots remained for the proposition to make up the difference and take the lead.

To read Driscoll's full post on Prop 1, click here.

WHAT YOU CAN DO TO GRAB A SEAT: "I believe that concerned citizens need to attend the Pierce Transit Board meetings and have their voice heard by the officials making the decisions," says Gibson.  "The next PT Board meeting is Nov 19 at 4 p.m. at the Pierce Transit Headquarters in Lakewood."  

HELP US FIND THE SEXIEST PEOPLE IN THE SOUTH SOUND >>>

Once again, the Weekly Volcano is unleashing The Sexy Issue, giving one and all the chance to gaze at the sexiest people in the South Sound - as voted on by all of you, our dear readers. The great thing about the Volcano's annual Sexy Issue, if we do say so ourselves, is how it manages to prove, year after year, that you don't have to be on a Kia Super Bowl ad to be smoking hot. Our annual Sexy Issue is the Weekly Volcano's way of showcasing the South Sound's sexiest denizens - and by denizens we don't mean celebrities; we're talking about regular dudes and dudettes who just happen to look sexy as hell when taking us on test drives, trimming our meat or brewing our beer. These folks can be just as hot - and a hell of a lot more accessible, theoretically - as anyone you typically see on TV and in magazines. 

This year, we are asking you to nominate the person who makes you all hot and bothered in the following categories: Actor/Actress, Artist, Brewer, Karaoke Host, Lead singer, Lawyer, Butcher, Car Salesperson, Blogger and Personal Trainer.

On Thursday, June 7, the Weekly Volcano will publish The Sexy Issue, immortalizing the sexy, chosen few forever.

Help us find them.

Voting ends May 11 at 5 p.m. - so help the Weekly Volcano find the South Sound's hottest citizens. Vote today!

Vote for the South Sound's sexiest people

ONLINE CHATTER >>>

Today's comment of the day comes from Zhsa who doesn't not beleive, not for one second, the sleepy young Lakewood man can't remember how a bullet got lodged in his arm.

Zhsa writes,

Maybe I've watched too much television, but I think he's a big, fat liar. He was involved with a crime where he cannot identify his assailants because perhaps he was either a) afraid of revenge or more likely, b) committed a gun crime himself. Nobody forgets a gunshot wound or at least some of the things leading up to it. Although, the original blog entry was unclear as to whether any of his belongings were stolen. If they were not, I suspect that the victim knows a lot more than he is saying.

IT HAPPENED SATURDAY IN LAKEWOOD >>>

As if you all didn't already know, I'm incapable of doing two things at once.  That is, with the exception of drinking a cold tallboy while inconspicuously checking out a guy's ass, but that's about all I'm good at doing simultaneously (wink, wink).

A prime example might be this past weekend at the Dockyard Derby Dames Season 6 opening bout.  It was my debut as an announcer for the DyDD bouts and Holy Toledo, Batman - I was excited!

So excited, in fact, that I hardly paid attention to the bouts.

I mean, at first I tried to jot down the dynamics of the first two jams between The Trampires and Marauding Mollys, but after the initial sounds of hearing my own voice on the loud speaker I was hooked.

Co-announcers Phil Dirt and James T. Jerk assigned me to be a part of the crowd and it was my duty to interact and infiltrate whatever information I could get from spectators.  Every other jam, which is approximately every 5 minutes, the dynamic duo would throw my name out there and ask what I was up to.

Naturally, I had a load of fun interacting with the standing room only crowd that packed the Pierce College Health Ed Center this past Saturday night.

The Weekly Volcano Hot Spot located inside the beer garden had injured Femme Fianna, men leaving for Afghanistan, and one of my favorite Femme Fianna OG's, Louda Than Bombs.

Throughout the night I rubbed elbows with the boyfriend of Weekly Volcano's sexiest athlete (Hit O' Honey) and his friend in a purple spandex full-body suit.  I even made him knock on his penis area to prove he was wearing a cup. 

You see, I was way too busy taking care of very important cup checks and simply could not administer any sort of focus on the Dockyard Derby Dame bout before me.

For this, my dear roller derby fans, I apologize.

I will, however, recap for you the fact that the sound system went out before the first bout began resulting in the National Anthem being sang a cappella (and without speakers) by the talented Harm A. Knee of Hellbound Homewreckers.

Twiggie Smalls surprised the crowd with an impromptu wedding ceremony involving her fiancé, The Henchman. They were both on skates. (Go figure.)

Marauding Mollys definitely got the award for largest fan attendance with Hellbound Homewreckers coming in a close second.

Femme Fianna skated their hearts out with a completely new team. That's right: Fresh Meat.

In the end, one thing I can tell you is that I had a blast getting to know everyone in the crowd and plugging my favorite alternative newsweekly, Weekly Volcano.

If only I could do both things at once.  Le sigh.

Anyway, here are the final scores:

Bout 1:

The Trampires - 147

Marauding Mollys - 222

Bout 2:

Femme Fianna - 76

Hellbound Homewreckers - 229

LINK: More photos from Dockyard Derby Dames Season 6 opener