You love ABC's Mistresses, the show about four sexy girlfriends - including Alyssa Milano and Lost's Yunjin Kim - who lead sexy lives loaded with sexy problems and sexy men, but at least they have one another's sexy shoulders to cry on. You know what you don't love? You don't love M177 Howitzer firings during your beloved Mistresses show. Unfortunately for you, that's exactly what's going to happen tonight at Joint Base Lewis-McChord. In fact, the 10 p.m. to 1 a.m. blasts will happen every night, same time, through Friday, June 21. Tuesday's The Voice? Boom! Wednesday's Restaurant Stakeout? Bam! Thursday's Swamp People? Ka-boom! Friday's Blue Bloods when Danny leans about voodoo while investigating a stabbing committed by someone in costume on Halloween? No! Yup, BANG!

What are you going to do? Not allow the troops to meet training requirement because you love watching actors act like terrible waiters?

According to a press release from Joint Base Lewis-McChord, "The purpose of the late-night training is to maintain unit proficiency in firing illumination rounds during periods of low visibility, as well as standard high-explosive rounds, to maintain section level proficiencies, and to meet requirements for certification and qualification. This is normally scheduled and required training, which allows military members to practice and improve skills required during combat. As often as possible, JBLM conducts larger scale demolition training and artillery firing at JBLM Yakima Training Center in an effort to minimize inconvenience for the surrounding communities. However, some training must take place on base."

At least JBLM won't blast your beloved Breaking Amish Saturday night.

TUESDAY, JUNE 11 2013 >>>

1. Folksy, folk-writing folk hero John Denver - born Henry John Deutschendorf Jr. - died Oct. 12, 1997, when the experimental plane he was flying crashed into Monterey Bay off the coast of California. Tonight at 6:30 p.m. in the Red Wind Casino, fans both casual (which way to the slots?) and rabid (dude, "Rocky Mountain High"!) will cheer on Ted Vigil - born Ted Vigil - as he pays tribute to Denver - both visually and musically.

2. Fans of all things Instagram, Vine, Twitter and more should gather at the Social Media Club Tacoma, a free organization that brings together diverse groups of people to learn and share about social media. The event will offer locals a chance to network and discuss social media while enjoying drinks and food from the Harmon Tap Room. The sharing starts at 5:30 p.m.

3. Proctor District's wine connoisseurs at Pour at Four will be Touring the Rhone Valley June 11. Toward the tail end of their tour series, Pour at Four will be journeying to France's Rhone Valley. Not only is the tasting complimentary, but it is teeming with loads of vino knowledge. Tasting runs 5:20-8 p.m.

4. There are trivia competitions all around the South Sound on a Tuesday night, where you can unleash your inner Ken Jennings. And while you won't approach Jennings-like earnings, you can win some cool stuff, ranging from gift certificates, to concert or sports tickets, to a VHS copy of All of Me, the film starring Lily Tomlin and Steve Martin. Sweet! Two of our favorite Tuesday night trivia are at Fish Tale Brew Pub in Olympia and Farrelli's Wood-Fire Pizza in Tacoma, both start at 8 p.m.

5. Hailing from Olympia, White Wards serves up the meanest sound-fights that the Capitol City has ever swallowed. Sonically they land somewhere between Tar Babies and Devoid of Faith. Catch them at 10 p.m. with Condominium, Negative Press and Coprot at Le Voyeur.

LINK: Tuesday, June 11 arts and entertainment events in the greater Tacoma and Olympia area

FUTURE THINGS ARE COMING >>>

Remember how excited you were when you learned the Tacoma Craft Beer Festival was moving to Cheney Stadium? TCBF co-organizer Bennett Thurmon has been so overwhelmed with joy he had to be forcibly removed from Cheney Stadium. Every day, for the last two months, he's hung out at the stadium, measuring fences, calculating sun angles and "becoming one with the stadium" he claimed.*

Anyway, here's more good Tacoma Craft Beer Festival news: Tickets for the Sept. 7 all-day beer festival go on sale Friday, June 7. Tomorrow, click here to journey to the TCBF website, click "Tickets available online" and you'll be whisked to Ticketmaster's fancy site, select the $30.50 ticket or $60.50 VIP ticket, then feel content knowing you'll be one of many hanging out on that glorious Saturday, tasting goods from 70 craft breweries and hugging the hell out of your friends, which happens every year.

*OK, Thurmon wasn't removed, but he has been living at Cheney and actually used a protractor to calculate the stadium's coaster capacity.

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 17 2013 >>>

1. Beginning at 5 p.m., Doyle's Public House's monthly St. Practice Party will be extra special as Doyle's celebrates its seventh anniversary, too. Owners Dave and Russ will tell stories, like the time they had the only ugly sweater contest in Tacoma and six people showed. Or the time they slept on the old church pews cause it was easier than driving home and back the next morning. Or the number of times they were told that they were doomed because no one wanted just import beers on draft and they needed PBR. Presents from Jameson will be doled out all day long. At 8 p.m. The Staxx Brothers will drop pounding rhythm, dynamic vocals and syncopated guitars - a combination of the Philadelphia Sound, Funkadelic and a little Southern rock - on the crowd of revelers.

2. The "Greek and Roman Mythology" exhibition at Tacoma Community College is outstanding. The operative word is strength - depicted strength of character, purpose and ideology; beauty and strength in the human body, and strong drawing and composition. There is also a lot of humor and wisdom in the way these contemporary South Sound artists react to ancient myths. The show ends Friday. Check it out from noon to 5 p.m. today. Read Alec Clayton's review of the "Greek & Roman Mythology" exhibition at Tacoma Community College in the Weekly Volcano's Arts section.

3. From 5:15 to 6:30 p.m., why not get up off your booty and commune with Tacoma on foot? Downtown On the Go is back with its Walk Tacoma events. Tonight, it walks in the name of public art. Participants will join Tacoma Arts Administrator Amy McBride for a 1.5 mile walking route in downtown Tacoma starting at the Hotel Murano. After the walk, participants are invited to attend a social event with food and drink specials at the Gallery located at BITE Restaurant in the Hotel Murano. There is no need to pre-register for the event, simply meet in front of the Murano.

4. Dead poets come to life in honor of National Poetry Month. A séance sponsored by the Olympia Poetry Network may feature William Stafford, Sara Teasdale, Ruth Stone, Wislawa Szymborska, Gerard Manley Hopkins and Robinson Jeffers at 6:30 p.m. inside Traditions Cafe. The audience will be invited to share their own favorite dead-poet poems during the open mic session.

5. Phasers on Hill and Poorsport will rock O'Malley's Irish Pub at 9 p.m.

LINK: Wednesday, April 17 arts and entertainemnt events in the greater Tacoma and Olympia area

Olympia Memes is more than a Facebook page. It's fast becoming part of Olympia's philanthropic fabric with one foot still firmly planted in the page's quirky sense of fun.

Case and point: the Meme Yourself Costume Party. Olympia memes asks its followers to dress as their favorite meme and come prepared to win prizes - if their costume rocks hard enough. Prizes include a wine-tasting party, dance classes, a snowboard and various gift certificates.

"I am hoping to see some girls rock the ERMAHGERD get up, maybe a Grumpy Cat rendition or two, Scumbag Steves, Bad Luck Brian's ... and then there's always the wide selection of Rage characters," says Olympia Memes' publisher. "If anyone is stuck they can always do a search online for meme costume parties or go to meme generators like quickmeme.com to look around for inspiration."

The party will raise funds - $5 cover charge and a raffle - with 100 percent of the proceeds benefitting SafePlace Olympia.  

"It's a sad fact that we need a place like SafePlace, but I know that because of this one organization, lives have been saved," says Olympia Memes' publisher. "Almost every conversation I have ever had where SP was mentioned, almost everyone has known at least one person that has had to use their services. They have had a huge positive influence on our community."

The Meme Yourself Costume Party will be at 8 p.m. Thursday, April 18 at Big Whisky Saloon in downtown Olympia. The event is 21+ only. The Big Whisky will spin tunes, with line dance lessons at 8:30 p.m. and the mechanical bull will be plugged in.

If you're lucky, Olympia Memes' mysterious publisher might show up out of disguise.

BIG WHISKY SALOON, THURSDAY, APRIL 18, 8 P.M., $5, 425 FRANKLIN ST. SE, OLYMPIA, 360.357.4721

TUESDAY, APRIL 9 2013 >>>

1. When fine-art photographer Eric Schwartz set out to photograph people with tattoos, he didn't expect to find a detailed history underneath the artwork. After a chance meeting with California tattoo legend Edward "Chuco" Caballero at a national tattoo show, the story for Schwartz's first film, Tattoo Nation, began to reveal itself - the documentary profiles some of the biggest artists and tattoo recipients to come out of the early Los Angeles-based, Chicano black-and-grey tattoo scene. The film screens at 1:45, 7 and 9 p.m. at The Grand Cinema.

2. Twenty five percent of Washington state children live in food insecure households. At 6:30 p.m. inside the Wheelock Student Center Rotunda, executive director and founder of Hilltop Urban Gardens Dean Jackson, executive director of FISH Food Banks Beth Elliot, folks from Canyon Little Mother Earth Farm and the Emergency Food Networks and sustainability manager of city of Tacoma Kristi Lynett will discuss this problem and other hunger issues.

3. This might be hard to believe, but you can't go see The Beatles live anymore, unless you have some sort of resurrection or time traveling technology. If you do have said technology and are using to see The Beatles, you've got some problems, so let Red Wind Casino help you out. It hosts Beatles tribute band British Export at 8 p.m. Go scream your head off.

4. GOAT, Overboard and IDefy will rock Malarkey's Pool & Brew at 8 p.m. as a benefit for Puget Sound Pizza bartender Theresa Pino who has been out of work due to health issues.

5. Cosmonauts share time equally in mind-melting squalls of Doors-esque acid rock and bursts of sweet, jumpy garage pop confection. It would be more than advisable to bring some earplugs for the band's show with The Garden Of Burgers at 9 p.m. inside The New Frontier Lounge.

PLUS: It's Olympia Restaurant Week! enjoy three-course dinners at fancy restaurants for only $25.

LINK: Tuesday, April 9 arts and entertainment events in the greater Tacoma and Olympia area

WILL THE "HARLEM SHAKE" BE INCLUDED? >>>

You know how sometimes you watch a particularly crappy movie and you think to yourself, "Even I could make a better film than that." The brain trust at Tacoma's Grand Cinema agrees with you, and that is why they are giving anyone with a video camera and a few bucks a chance to write, shoot and screen a 5-minute film at the Rialto Theater in Tacoma.

Yes, it's that time again: The Grand Cinema's 72-Hour Film Festival will inspire registered filmmakers to bring a film from conception to completion April 25-28. What started as 11 teams gathering at The Grand has ballooned into a totally legit happening. Every year some 30 teams of filmmakers collectively spill out of the woodwork to be met with the challenge of creating a five-minute film in only three days. As if that weren't enough of a task, they are also required to somehow fit in a designated line of dialogue, a prop, a location, and an action. Then they all get together at the Rialto - which is invariably sold out - to watch their creations.

This year the teams will assemble the night of Thursday, April 25, submit their films Sunday, April 28, and the movies will be screened Friday, May 10 at the Rialto. Some will rise to the occasion, some will fall short. Watching all three hours of the event is to witness the thrill of victory as well as the agony of defeat. Expect shocks, laughs, maybe even a few tears shed. Then judges will hand out awards, as well as the coveted audience favorite award.

For more details and to sign up, call The Grand at 253.572.6062.

IT CAN BE DONE >>>

Here's how art gets created: the artist gets an idea then makes a sketch of what he envisions and then makes it. Pretty simple, huh? But what if the vision is something he has no idea how to make or he simply doesn't have access to the tools needed to make it? That's where Tacoma's FabLab comes in.

Michael Johnson's sculptural installation at Kittredge Gallery, University of Puget Sound (see my review in this week's Weekly Volcano) is a prime example. His sculptural forms comprise intertwined curvilinear shapes that hover above the floor. How he could possibly make those shapes is as incomprehensible to me as the building of the Golden Gate Bridge or the International Space Station.

Read more...

Anyone can be a poet, you say?  Actually, it doesn't work that way. It takes dedication, more work than play. The hours are long, there is no pay. Benefits? What do you think?  You're lucky if someone buys you a drink. Then you find as you sip from your cup — they only did it to shut you up.

Every April, the Academy of American Poets commands us to pay attention to poetry, with National Poetry Month — which is funny, because most poets spend their lifetimes trying just to figure out what poetry is. How is the layperson supposed to do it in a month?

Anyway, local poet Maria Chong Gudaitis has compiled readings, workshops and other poetry happenings in Tacoma over the next month. More details can be found on her website, www.poetrytacoma.com.

Gudaitis will join Tacoma Poet Laureate Josie Emmons Turner and former TPL Tammy Robacker for an official National Poetry Month in Tacoma launch party at 6 p.m. Friday, April at Anthem Coffee, where you can hear and hug poets.

Gudaitis sent a list of local poetry events happening over the next month, which you can find below. Keep an eye on the Poetry Tacoma website for updates, cool pictures and awesome words.

Writing the City: Poetry Workshop for Youth

Saturday, March 30, 1-3pm / FREE / write@253

Youth ages 12-18: write  poetry about our city, with writer Renee Simms & educator Catalina Ocampo. We'll take inspiration from the city, and then take our poems out into the streets! Bring comfortable shoes. Info/register: Mary Fox, mfox@tacomacc.edu.

Behind the Masc w/ Carlos Andrés Gómez

Tuesday, April 2, 7 pm / FREE / PLU (Chris Knutsen Hall)

A special interactive performance and dialogue on masculinity and manhood, with the 2006 Toronto Intl. Poetry Slam champ and author of "Man Up: Cracking the Code of Modern Manhood." An innovative mix of town hall dialogue and spoken word performance.

The Fantastic Four

Thursday, April 4, 7pm / FREE / King's Books

Derek Sheffield, Arlene Kim, Marjorie Manwaring & Rebecca Hoogs. Join host & TCC professor Allen Braden as four acclaimed Northwest poets read from new works at the crossroads of clarity and magic.

Tacoma Poetry Month Kick-Off Party & Reading

Friday, April 5, 6pm / FREE / Anthem Coffee

Tammy Robacker & Maria Gudaitis invite the city to the poetry month kick-off celebration. Hear featured poetry readers and mingle with working poets. Pick up a free copy of the Tacoma poetry month anthology + win poetry prizes!

SWAN Day Event

Sunday, April 7, 2-5pm / FREE / King's Books

A showcase of the power and diversity of women's creativity. Features poets, creative writers, playwrights, & spoken word artists. Email Johnnie at luminousspirit@gmail.com to participate. Benefit for the YWCA of Pierce County's Domestic Violence Program.

Read more...

HOW TWEET IT IS >>>

Whether you've been on Twitter since its beginnings in 2006 or you're a Twitter neophyte, you know keeping up on important tweets can be overwhelming. If you follow everything and everyone that you find interesting, you can end up with hundreds and hundreds of Tweets showing up in your feed on a daily basis.

Don't despair. Every Saturday the Weekly Volcano shares important and pointless Tweets from South Sound Twitter accounts, and sometimes beyond, so you may stay on top of bookstore, neck tattoos and shoelace tying class news - as well as the latest action on the streets.

Crunch! It's National Chip and Dip Day... stop by to snack up! ow.ly/i/1Igfk

— Stadium Thriftway (@StadiumTWay) March 23, 2013

This hipster's Bible cover matches his cardigan. I can't tell if this makes me angry or jealous.

— Kenny Coble (@kennycoble) March 23, 2013

Party in #tacoma , see more neck tattoos than a federal state prison. #takemehome #scaredformyblondeAss ????

— DEMiiiiRYERSON (@DatGuRLDEB) March 23, 2013

Tacoma News Tribune: Niche spirits: New South Sound distilleries are on the way bit.ly/YhCK2W #tacoma

— The News Tribune (@tacomaupdates) March 22, 2013

Fill out this Sound Transit survey. Help move 6th Ave (B1) and MLK (E1) to the next phase! surveygizmo.com/s3/1195336/Tac… #Tacoma #lightrail

— Chris Karnes (@TacomaTransit) March 22, 2013

Late night 38th St Safeway run and it smells of freshly smoked marijuana in here. My cart was the only one without liquor in it #Tacoma

— Meredith (@Mere253) March 23, 2013

For #tacoma tweeter-eaters going to Marrow this Sun, enjoy! I hv other plans, but will be thinking of u! Btw-who wants to help me move? ;-)

— TacomaTweetAndEat (@TacomaTweetAndE) March 22, 2013

Ain't no city quite like mine! #Tacoma #253

— Jonté Joseph (@MisterMcElroni) March 22, 2013

#Tacoma council approves sale of Swan Creek library below appraisal; planned day care viewed as "community benefit" bit.ly/YINBwe

— Lewis Kamb (@lewiskamb) March 21, 2013

Community garden plots available at Orchard & Vine community garden - 45th & Orchard in North #Tacoma. Contact me for more info!

— Liz Satterthwaite (@LizSattert) March 21, 2013

New pot law means big change for drug-sniffing dogs. ACLU upset with how #tacoma PD dealing #liveonkomo @ 4. twitter.com/ElisaJaffe/sta…

— Elisa Jaffe (@ElisaJaffe) March 20, 2013

New @beautifulangle posters out in #Tacoma! twitter.com/theredhot/stat…

— theredhot (@theredhot) March 20, 2013

Did you know that it isn't a true equinox? And did you know it has nothing to do with Vern Fonk?#Tacoma

— Tacomama (@_tacomama) March 20, 2013

#exclusive photo @kiro7seattle of #tacoma daycare rape and beating suspect Andrake Morris being held on $1M bail twitter.com/TerryKIRO/stat…

— TerryKIRO (@TerryKIRO) March 20, 2013

NEW SONG! Stephan Nance — The Sound Narrows (on out-of-tune #piano) youtu.be/QIf0veay3F4 via @youtube #music #Tacoma #pistachios

— Stephan Nance (@stephannance) March 19, 2013

The City is considering changes to purchasing policy to allow it to give local companies an edge. exit133.com/7488/local-sus… #Tacoma

— Exit133 (@exit133) March 19, 2013

Tacoma News Tribune: Boats damaged during Murray Morgan Bridge restoration bit.ly/11hcDtN #tacoma

— The News Tribune (@tacomaupdates) March 20, 2013

Downtown on the Go kicks off a series of free walks on April 3 to explore downtown, exercise & socialize. downtownonthego.com/2013-walk-taco… #Tacoma

— Liz Satterthwaite (@LizSattert) March 19, 2013

Check our Youtube channel each week as new visiting artists come to the museum! youtube.com/museumofglass #museum #tacoma

— Museum of Glass (@MuseumofGlass) March 18, 2013

Someone just asked if we are a bookstore. How should I have responded to that? #blankstare

— King's Books (@kingsbooks) March 18, 2013

Tacoma News Tribune: Hillary Clinton announces support for gay marriage bit.ly/15hHNOi #tacoma

— The News Tribune (@tacomaupdates) March 18, 2013

#tacoma police process the scene of a "brutal attack" of daycare worker @ 84th and Pacific. Suspect info soon twitter.com/TerryKIRO/stat…

— TerryKIRO (@TerryKIRO) March 18, 2013

I'm just an average dude from Tacoma, chasing above average dreams. But I'll never forget where I came from. #Tacoma #2?5?3? #??'? #MK

— T-Flacko (@T_Hunt_36) March 18, 2013

Two local #Tacoma food business's Kickstarter campaigns, Purdy Organics and Infinite Soups. Show them your support!tacomafoodie.com/two-local-busi…

— Adrienne (@TacomaFoodie) March 18, 2013

The styles of shows that are being thrown are awesome & out of the ordinary, and they are only going to get better as time goes on. #Tacoma

— A-Hyp (@A_Hyp) March 17, 2013

Tacoma News Tribune: Police Beat: Prostitution sting catches Tacoma city employee bit.ly/ZgLanI #tacoma

— The News Tribune (@tacomaupdates) March 17, 2013

Another reason to take part in our first Walk-A-Thon: Tacoma's own Sonic Guy will be our MC! Learn more- anewho.pe/8B #Tacoma

— The Rescue Mission (@RescueMissionUS) March 16, 2013

Tacoma News Tribune: Former Gov. Booth Gardner dies bit.ly/XLp9kp #tacoma

— The News Tribune (@tacomaupdates) March 16, 2013

Tacoma News Tribune: ACLU: Everett school searched student's Facebook page bit.ly/YDS8TG #tacoma

— The News Tribune (@tacomaupdates) March 16, 2013

Sailboats in the #Tacoma Narrows as seen from Point Defiance Park on my run this morning. campl.us/ojoD

— Rob McNair-Huff (@RobMcNairHuff) March 16, 2013

Did you know #Tacoma #Nordstrom offers a shoelace tying class for kids?When Henry leaves velcro, I am all over this. Sign up in store.

— Maegen Blue (@SoundsFunMom) March 16, 2013

Follow the Weekly Volcano on Twitter. Because otherwise we're coming to your house, and while we will bring wine, we will not, under any circumstances, take off our shoes.