Dear Joeseppiâ€™s Italian Margarita,
First, let me tell you that Iâ€™m a huge fan of yours. I love your Amaretto floater. And that splash of lime of yours adds freshness. As my friend, your pint glass container always seem to be there when needed â€" the perfect post-work cocktail, a warmer on a rainy Sunday afternoon, and youâ€™re even around to help me through family gatherings. However, lately Iâ€™ve been wondering about your intentions. While I want to believe that you have my best interests at heart, I feel that your influence has led to some unwise consequences:
1. You give me excess hope while watching Marinersâ€™ games in Joeseppiâ€™s bar. I love the flat screen, the fireplace, and server Tom is extremely professional. However, when I sip you I believe in the Mariners, and I think thatâ€™s wrong.
2. Now you know I love Joeseppiâ€™s Italian grub, but why do you suggest that I eat the bread with that seasoned butter, plus a Chop Chop salad, an entire five-layer lasagna dish, tiramisu and a sandwich to go from the deli. Iâ€™m a big eater, but I think you always take me too far.
3. Unless youâ€™re subtly trying to tell me that I need to do more balance work, I see no need to hammer the issue home by causing me to knock owner Joe Stortiniâ€™s baseball memorabilia off the wall. Similarly, it should never take me more than 45 seconds to sign my credit card receipt.
In closing, Italian Margarita, I have enjoyed our friendship for some years now and would like to ensure that we remain on good terms. However, in order to continue this friendship, I ask that you carefully tell me no after three. I will look for an answer no later than Thursday 4 p.m. on your possible solutions and hopefully we can continue this sweet and sour partnership.
Your biggest fan,
[Joeseppiâ€™s Italian Ristorante, 2207 N. Pearl St., Tacoma, 253.761.5555]