STEPH DEROSA: MY NEW NAME IS ROCK >>>
The concert ticket gods blessed us with floor seats last night for Kid Rockâ€™s show at the Puyallup Fair. It was a sold out event that pulled in Western Washingtonâ€™s finest and brightest country rock fans. You know, of course, Iâ€™m talking about The KAke and myself.
We needed bodyguards, and someone to pay for our dinner and beer, so we let Pappi Swarner and Mr. DeRosa tag along. The bigger entourage I have the more important I feel â€" especially at a Puyallup Fair/Kid Rock event. We tried to get a good picture of The KAke, and me, but Pappi and Mr. DeRosa were having too much fun playing their own immature games â€" so I got nothing. Bitches.
Paybackâ€™s a bitch, because this was Pappiâ€™s view of the Kid Rock show for the entire evening.
Kid did his â€˜thang,â€™ sang his tunes, thrusted his libido, and held on
tight to his cowboy hat that Iâ€™m sure was covering up an enormous
receding hairline. Iâ€™ll admit it, the show was hot, and he was on
fire. KAke and I rocked out like it was 1999. Literally 1999 â€" isnâ€™t
that when his whole â€œCowboyâ€ song came out? Speaking of his â€œCowboyâ€
song, it was repeated at the end of three different songs last night.
I guess if you have a hit like that, you gotta play it for the crowds.
With the release of his 2007 album Rock Nâ€™ Roll Jesus, the recurring
theme for the evening was church, Jesus, and religion. KAke was
confused and concerned. â€œAt what point did Kid Rock find Jesus and
develop this whole â€˜religionâ€™ facade?â€ she asked. I answered, â€œWell,
heâ€™s been hanging out at Runâ€™s House lately, and Run (of Run-DMC) is
now a reverend.â€ How do I know this? Iâ€™m a MTV reality show junkie,
thatâ€™s how I know.
Before KAke could even grasp the thought of Kid Rock stepping foot in a
church â€" low and behold â€" out comes Reverend Run! Just to keep up with
the whole â€œreligionâ€ frame of mind, we screamed, â€œHoly Shit!â€ as he
stepped out on stage. Seeing him there, busting out the OLD SKOOL
hip-hop from the early â€˜80s, we were giddy like little Catholic
schoolgirls. It was unbelievable.
I was completely in awe of Kidâ€™s drummer, Stefanie Eulinberg, who
kicked ass and rocked out the entire show. She even stepped up to
rebut Kidâ€™s song about a girlâ€™s tight ass (or something like that) by
singing her own verse, which included praising men who have huge
cocks. I didnâ€™t know the song, but I sure did like it. Anyone know
what song Iâ€™m talking about? Anyone?
Later in the night he sang â€œPicture,â€ which is his hit duet with Sheryl
Crow. No, Sheryl didnâ€™t make it to the Puyallup Fair stage last night,
but instead Kidâ€™s back up signer came forward and tried really hard to
fill Sherylâ€™s vocal shoes.
Kid Rock put on an absolutely incredibly entertaining show. We danced
our pants off while Kid made love to his audience, slowly but surely.
With all of the expletives, hair pulling, and pelvis thrusting â€" it was
literally like he had his way with us and tossed us aside, worn out and
thanking him for the abuse. By the end of the show he was nearly
naked. Take a look back at the pictures. He went from jacket and
slacks, to t-shirt, to wife-beater, to being completely shirtless by
the last song. Regardless, just as with any steamy sexual encounter,
KAke and I felt completely satisfied and begging for more.