THIS IS MY JOB >>>

Ladies and gentlemen, here it is - another installment of weird shit you find on Craigslist. Last time, we found 80 free toilets, marijuana and hobbit feet. (Told you it was weird.)

This time we have a tiny house, DUIs, fish that walk and more. Enjoy!

In case you need a place to put your mother-in-law, grow operation or meth lab, here is a tiny house just for you - only $500.

And speaking of illegal stuff, here's this guy, pleading for a witness to a car accident he was involved in. Two drunk chicks left you at the scene of the crime? C'mon Randy, just fess up and take the DUI.

For a little more weird, how about adopting a walking fish? Here's a quote from the ad, "They are a great conversation piece in your home. I mean, who has fish with feet?!" Creepy weirdos participating in some unholy evolutionary process, that's who. 

Speaking of unholy evolutionary processes, here's someone looking to breed what looks like a gremlin.

But, this installment's weird award goes to this 21-year-old overweight girl with a kid, whose ad title is ... "Join me for some walking & awkward conversation."  Click on her link to discover more gems suchs, "I like to make homemade Cheez-its because theyre awesome,"  "No crazies please, they ruin my mood" and "Ok I have done this before and it was by far one of the most awkward things ever. But hey I geuss thats what happens when you meetup with random strangers you met on the internet." Please, someone get this girl on Tosh.O.

Until next time, and happy craigslisting!

WEDNESDAY, MAY 22 2013 >>>

1. As the Defense Department shifts its military power and presence from a shrinking Middle East war zone to the vast Asia-Pacific region, it also is rebalancing its focus within the increasingly important region. From 4-6 p.m., the University of Washington Tacoma will host a symposium focusing on the United States' strategic rebalance toward Asia-Pacific. While it will be a moderated discussion with scheduled speakers, there will be time for open questions from the audience as well. Attendees will get to here commentary from Maj. Gen. Jeffrey S. Buchanan, deputy commanding general, I Corps, Joint Base Lewis-McChord, and Daniel Malarkey, deputy director, Washington State Department of Commerce, as well as high-ranking faculty from the UW. The event is free, but registration is required; click here to sign up.

2. For this month only, Stanley and Seafort's (115 E. 34th St., Tacoma) is offering a delectable deal. With any steak on the menu they will add a complimentary side of coconut prawns or a petite lobster tail with the simple mention of this offer.

3. Concoctors of all things hoppy, malty and brewtastic at Tacoma's own Harmon Brewery are taking over the ballgame. Cheney Stadium (2502 S. Tyler St., Tacoma) is hosting Harmon Brewery Night during the Rainiers' game May 22 beginning at 7 p.m. In exchange for a $7 reserve ticket you'll receive a $5 voucher for a pint of tasty Harmon beer. Sip on a Point Defiance, Mt Takhoma Blonde or a Black Tartan IPA. Anyone who has been to a fair share of baseball games knows a $5 ballpark brew is a steal. Get some.

4. Songwriter Mary Win will perform haunting original folk songs from 7-9 p.m. at Rhapsody In Bloom Florist & Cafe Latte.

5. Pub trivia nights can either ignite the party or stifle the mood. McNamara's Pub & Eatery in DuPont does everything possible to avoid being a major buzz kill. Every Wednesday McNamara's Pub starts team trivia at 7 p.m. Irish-inspired food helps trivia players stock up on brainpower before the trivia starts. Beer and drink specials happen at trivia intermission. Because everyone knows a good buzz makes trivia that much easier. What's the capital of Kazakhstan? Take a drink and think.

LINK: Wednesday, May 22 arts and entertainment events in the greater Tacoma and Olympia area

Under orders from my editor, I, Keegan Patterson, stalwart intern that I am, ventured haphazardly through the perilous and labyrinthine concrete forest of downtown Tacoma to arrive at my destination, the intersection of 11th and Broadway. My mission? To watch and review the video currently playing at the newly resurrected The Tollbooth Gallery. After being out of service for a while, TTG was recently put back in action as a part of the Spaceworks Tacoma initiative, which is "designed to activate empty storefronts and vacant space," as stated by its website.

On Broadway, like a miniature religious site awaiting its pilgrims, The Tollbooth Gallery stood - a multicolored monolith playing its video on repeat. So eye-catching was the booth that I quickly found myself captivated by the monitor fixed to its center. I was enthralled, transfixed and before I felt I had experienced the installation fully, I had watched the video five times.

Read more...

Old fashioned butcher shops are a rare find these days, but they do exist. Blue Max Meats in the Summit area of Puyallup is hand-cutting meats, smoking its own sausage and making delicious jerky and pepperoni, all with top-notch personalized customer service.

Formerly Blue Max Sausage Co., owners Evan Greco and Tommy Marshall bought the business in April, renaming it Blue Max Meats, a more accurate representation of their full offering of products. They now offer grass-fed beef, as well as hard to find alligator, frog legs and bison, with plans to add more game and exotic meats in the near future. Greco and Marshall have kept the recipes the same for the jerky and 20 types of sausage, but will be adding more selection.

For Greco, who had previously worked at Blue Max Sausage Co. for two years, it was a dream come true. "As a meat cutter, I believe the ultimate dream is to own and operate your own butcher shop. We were given a once in a lifetime opportunity to make that dream happen and we jumped right on it," he said. "We hope to build a strong local regular customer base as well as become a destination for a large variety of fresh, quality meats."

BLUE MAX MEATS, 9 a.m. to 7 p.m. Monday-Saturday, 8 a.m. to 4 p.m. Sunday, 9512 Canyon Road E., Summit, 253.535.6110

TUESDAY, MAY 21 2013 >>>

1. Week of Wonders describe their music as "tropical punk," which we suppose is as good a place to start as anywhere. What do they mean when they say this? Upon first listening, the lo-fi guitars and reverb-laden vocals call to mind any of many psychedelic pop revivalists, but then that percussion begins to seep into the fore. The sprightlier the percussion becomes, the easier it is to be whisked away by Week of Wonders to warmer climates, where the murkiness of the humidity starts to soak your brain and encourage flights of fancy and hallucinatory revelry.Catch them withHumble Cub and Shogun Barbie at 8 p.m. in the Tahoma Tea & Co.

2. The Pierce County Gleaning Project and Share the Harvest programs will kick off the season with a picnic-potluck paired with a continuing conversation on food justice issues in Tacoma/Piece County from 6-8 p.m. in Wright Park. Breakout-blankets will be arranged for some meaty (and veg/vegan!) discussion topics.

3. Mike Vax, an international artist for the Getzen Musical Instrument Company and a Summit Records recording artist, has played lead and solo trumpet with the Stan Kenton Orchestra, the Clark Terry Big Bad Band, and the U.S. Navy Show Band. His "sit-in" list is long and impressive that includes Art Pepper, Gene Krupa, Al Grey, and Freddy Hubbard, John Handy, Don Ellis, Don Jacoby, Louie Bellson, Joe Williams. Currently Vax leads his own groups: The Stan Kenton Alumni Band, The Mike Vax Jazz Orchestra, The Swing Shift Big Band in Prescott, Arizona, TRPTS (Trumpets), The Great American Jazz Band and the Mike Vax Quintet and Sextet. And he finds time to drop in on Tacoma how? Vax will hold a 7:30 p.m. trumpet clinic with the Tacoma Community College Band at TCC where he'll perform, talk about jazz, coach the band, dole out tips and, maybe, fetch your car.

4. Blackbird Raum is a gypsy punk band from Santa Cruz Santa Cruz, that are well known for their frantic live shows. Catch them with Matador, Gembrokers, Phillip Irie, Rickie Rich and The Lockstitch at 8 p.m. in Northern.

5. Negative Degree and Sterilized Adjustment play a 9 p.m. show at Le Voyeur.

LINK: Tuesday, May 21 arts and entertainment events in the greater Tacoma and Olympia area

The Sixth Avenue street fair bonanza known as the Art on the Ave returns to Tacoma Sunday, July 14 bringing all the corn on a stick, face painting and guys dressed as nuns on a pogo stick that comes with it. Also, look out for the Save our Sonics guy. Yes, Sixth Avenue traffic will have to find an alternate route that Sunday afternoon as the good times will be rolling all day.

Ignoring the Art on the Ave dunk-tank, the highlight of the annual event is the music. This year four stages will dot the asphalt, although one stage will house such acts as dance groups, grub crawl judging, maybe a choir and probably cute kids.

Here are the music acts scheduled to perform the second Sunday in July, beginning around 11 a.m.

Dirty Oscar's Annex (2309 Sixth Ave.): The Fame Riot, Ben Union, The Dignitaries, Not From Brooklyn, Bandolier and Roswell 

O'Malley's Irish Pub (2403 Sixth Ave.): The Fun Police, Ten Pole Drunk, Kramer, Northslope and Devil on a Leash 

Jazzbones (2803 Sixth Ave.): Nolan Garrett, Big Wheel Stunt Show, Randy Hanson, Mighty High, C-leb and Kettle Black ... with two headlines to be announced July 13.

Conveniently located directly next to the Garfield Book Company, 208 Garfield could easily be confused for just another cafe character. And while, especially in the morning hours, it does indeed sling out espresso and fresh baked pastries, 208 seamlessly transcends to wine bar status in the afternoon, serving up clean plated gastro pub type cuisine.

208 Garfield's lunch menu includes a variety of tasty paninis, salads and sandwiches available throughout the day. Their Happy Hour Menu, which goes live at 3 p.m., adds a variety of cheese plates and larger entree like dishes such as a Slow Roasted "Pure Country" Pork Belly with a brown sugar glaze served with pickled mustard seeds and a shaved fennel salad ($7). This pork belly is among some of the most tender I've eaten. The brown sugar glaze loaned a nice sweetness and, when paired with the mustard seeds, certainly balanced sweet and savory together. To accompany the pork belly I suggest their onion soup, paired with a mixed green salad ($5). The soup-salad combo is a hearty meal in itself, and exceptionally priced.

208 Garfield also features a lovely selection of Washington and Oregon wines and local craft brews. For those looking for something refreshing minus the alcohol you can find tasty herbal spritzers infused with lavender, elderflower and vanilla.

If this post was called Eat These Two Dishes Now, I'd suggest the Tuscan Bread Salad ($6). Using toasted Grand Central ciabatta bread - a Pacific Northwest native - as the base 208 then tossed the salad with fresh red peppers, tomatoes, red onion kalamata olives and fresh basil. This bread salad was a satisfying matrimony of distinct flavors, including a Mediterranean-esque flavor profile. It's perfect for the carb lovers.

SLOW ROASTED "PURE COUNTRY" PORK BELLY, 7 a.m. to 9 p.m. Monday-Friday with happy hour 3-6 p.m., 8 a.m. to 9 p.m. Saturday and Sunday with happy hour all day, 208 Garfield St. S., Tacoma, 253.538.5990

LINK: South Sound Happy Hour App

For those of you who read northwestmiloitary.com on your smartphone while waiting for the slow guy to putt know the USO Northwest's 18th Annual "Red, White & Blue Golf Classic" is tomorrow. Word just came down on the schedule celebrity participation. Seattle sports legends Mack Strong, Edgar Martinez, Dave Henderson, Nesby Glasgow, Randall Morris and Alonzo Mitz are scheduled to tee off at The Golf Club at Newcastle.

The golf tournament, dinner and auction benefiting USO Northwest and local active-duty military, military families and veterans. Based on past years, USO Northwest expects to raise $300,000 that will help fund the operation of USO centers at Sea-Tac Airport and Joint Base Lewis-McChord, and the USO Mobile Canteen RV.

Courtney Love is hitting the road again. The Hole singer will set out on a solo tour throughout the Northeast, hitting major markets such as Boston, Philadelphia and Brooklyn in June before hitting the West Coast, with a stop Tuesday, July 23 at the Moore Theatre in Seattle. While she's leaving the Hole hounds at home, it's likely she'll still dust off a few classic tracks.

Although a ticket price hasn't been announce, they will go on sale at 10 a.m. Wednesday, May 22 at LiveNation.com, tickets.com, ticketing kiosks at the Moore and the Paramount Theater and 877.784.4849.

MONDAY, MAY 20 2013 >>>

1. The Mac - that's Fleetwood Mac, for those of you who weren't around in the late '70s/early '80s and/or don't have parents - will perform at 8 p.m. in the Tacoma Dome. Drummer Mick Fleetwood, bassist John McVie, guitarist/vocalist Lindsey Buckingham and singer Stevie Nicks will be on hand, but missing will be singer/keyboardist Mac mainstay Christine McVie, who blazed in 1998. Without McVie's alto voice, you'll hear a lot more of Buckingham and Nicks, which according to tour reports, you might hear a bit of wear in their voices. Who cares? Bring on "Dreams," "Rhiannon," "Gold Dust Woman," "Don't Stop," "Tusk" and "Go Your Own Way." Bring on the lyrics full of heartbreak and recriminations. Bring on the between-song banter. In the end, the landslide will bring you down anyway.

2. If you've noticed we're pushing local breweries lately, you've caught us. We can't stay away from local beer. Plus, there's something about a local brewery that screams perfect date night. A couple pints of lager, a couple side salads, a doggy bag for the happy couple. ... Powerhouse Restaurant and Brewery in Puyallup offers a pasta and pint combination every Monday that's easy on the wallet. Buy pasta off the menu and get any one of Powerhouse's seven beers free of charge. 

3. Monday is typically a black hole for nightlife. Sure, if you run a sports bar, you'll do well during the World Series or football season, but for most eating and drinking establishments, it's just dead, dead, dead. There's a darn good reason why so many bars are empty on Mondays. So how do those that remain open find ways to fill barstools on this, the most dreadful evening of the workweek? The folks at The Swiss seem to have found a solution and, oddly enough, it's one that has been the bane of many other venues: live music. Since the beginning of time, The Swiss has hosted live blues every Monday. At 8 p.m. catch The Mark Riley Band.

4. Every Monday Jazzbones is packed to the brim with college kids. Party types. The type that wear tight shirts and trucker hats. Throngs of Chad Fratguys and Sarah Sororitysisters swarm the bar, line up for the bathroom and dance to the Rockaraoke - live band karaoke. The Rockaraoke band is skilled, too. Expect $2 PBR drafts, $3 Sinfire shots and $4 Smirnoff flavor vodka bombs beginning at 9 p.m.

5. Infernoh and Effluxus will rock Le Voyeur in downtown Olympia beginning at 9 p.m.

LINK: Monday, May 20 arts and entertainment events in the greater Tacoma and Olympia area