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Passing counterfeit bills in Olympia

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In every issue of this fine rag my hack team of wannabe journalists and I tackle some of the most laughable criminal acts that have recently happened in our area. Then - if we're doing our job - we write about those crimes in a way that makes you chuckle, or at the very least gives you something better to do than wonder how you're going to live without Andy Rooney.

Enjoy. - Matt Driscoll

If a person were to look back over the past four years of the Ragnet column (which I'm not recommending), it wouldn't just represent a short history of criminal stupidity. The findings would also be an interesting documentation of how economic hardship often leads to criminal ingenuity. Desperation can be the strongest of motivators.

According to reports in The Olympian, citing court papers, 27-year-old Joel St. John was arrested on Olympia's west side Wednesday, Sept. 21 on suspicion of trying to pass counterfeit $100 bills at two local businesses. And that's just the tip of the proverbial counterfeit iceberg. Once in custody, St. John admitted to using counterfeit $100 bills at a number of other local businesses in Thurston and Pierce counties over the span of almost a month, including Top Foods stores in Tacoma and Federal Way.

For the aspiring counterfeiters out there, St. John's scheme was basic: According to The Olympian, police have recovered 20 counterfeit $100 bills, each originally a $5 bill that was washed of ink using car degreaser and then reprinted as a Ben Franklin on an ink-jet printer.

Reports in The Olympian indicate an investigation was launched Sept. 12 after an employee at Cost Plus World Market on Cooper Point Road summoned police because a cashier had unknowingly accepted one of St. John's fraudulent bills. When authorities began informing other businesses on Olympia's west side of the possibility of counterfeit artist wreaking havoc, an employee at Top Food and Drug on Cooper Point Road told police that a man had also recently attempted to pass a counterfeit bill at that store, but ran off when confronted by a cashier. The employee said the thwarted counterfeiters was ALSO suspected to be the same man who'd recently attempted to pass counterfeit bill as the Tacoma and Federal Way locations of Top Food and Drug.

Officers later reviewed surveillance footage from the Top Foods stores, with the employee recognizing St. John.

On Sept. 14 an officer saw St. John walking on Harrison Avenue in Olympia and attempted "make contact" with him (read: arrest the fuck out of), but St. John was able to successfully flee. According to reports, two days later Olympia police were contacted by a man who found a bag in the bushes near his home containing six counterfeit bills - in close proximity to where St. John had fled. The Olympian also reports St. John's sister later turned 14 more counterfeit bills over to police.

After a week on the run, detective Chris Johnstone saw St. John walking at 11th Avenue and Decatur Street last Wednesday and apprehended him after a brief chase. Shockingly enough, in addition to admitting to his crimes, St. John reportedly told court officials that he regularly uses methamphetamine and Percocet ... two things you definitely don't want to use counterfeit cash to buy.  - Mary Butterworth, Counterfeit Crime Correspondent

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