In every issue of this fine rag my hack team of wannabe journalists and I tackle some of the most laughable criminal acts that have recently happened in our area. Then - if we're doing our job - we write about those crimes in a way that makes you chuckle, or at the very least helps you find something to do other than mourn the loss of Matt Hasselbeck (or mourn the arrival of Tarvaris Jackson).

This week's column takes us to Wild Waves, where it sometimes gets hot.

Enjoy. - Matt Driscoll

One of the more detested band names of the last 15 years has to be Dogs Die In Hot Cars, a moniker chosen by a Scottish group of indie rockers from the late '90s. The band was probably going for shock factor, and it worked. Dogs dying in hot cars isn't something anyone really likes to deal with or have shoved in their face. Dogs are fuzzy wuzzy, and dying in a hot car sounds like an undeniably lousy way to go. The thought of it makes people uncomfortable, and rightly so. Leaving a dog in a hot car will get you the same kind of dirty looks that leaving small children locked in a hot car will draw. It's to be avoided.

Naturally, when (in real life) a dog does get trapped in a hot car, people often jump to the rescue. Because if they don't, the dog might die (as the band name suggests).

Such was the case last weekend, when police were called to Wild Waves Theme Park at about 3 p.m. on Saturday because of an endangered Chihuahua, according to reports on the News Tribune's Lights & Sirens blog. As you recall, last Saturday was one of the handful of legitimately warm days our region has experienced this year.

As the Trib's Stacia Glen details, Animal Services officers with the Federal Police Department arrived on the scene to find a white, black and brown Chihuahua named Sury locked inside a van parked at the popular summer theme park. When officers stuck a thermometer inside a cracked window of the vehicle it revealed a temperature inside of 130 degrees, so the decision was made to break in and rescue the dog. A warning was plastered on the van and Sury was removed for her own safety.

Phew. Happy ending. This time, the dog didn't die in the hot car.

The only trouble came as officers transported Sury to the Tacoma-Pierce County Humane Society. As police tell Glen and the Trib, at some point during transport Sury broke away from them and disappeared under a fence. The dog has not been seen since.

Shit. That's not how valiant rescues are supposed to go. ...

Authorities urge anyone with information about the Chihuahua's whereabouts to contact Federal Way police at 253.835.6735.

Strangely, police also tell the Trib the dog's family has had Sury for two years, and "would like to bring her home."  At the Volcano Crime Desk we can only assume that, moving forward, they've promised not to lock her in a hot van while they're at Wild Waves. - Lifeguard With Nothing To Do, Wild Waves Related Crime Correspondent.