Getting married can be a daunting experience.

Add to the mix marriage to a military service member and a life filled with frequent deployments, long work hours, dangerous missions, and frequent moves.  Just the thought of military life can create fear that is a 10 on the Richter magnitude scale. 

However, some couples use humor in their wedding vows to break the tension and lighten the mood, said Susan Dones, a wedding officiant for Tacoma-based A Day for You Weddings - www.youfunnylady.com - who performs about 35 weddings for military service members a year.

"A wedding is a stressful event," said Dones, a Navy veteran. "I think that a wedding is even more stressful for military couples because they are usually getting married before a deployment. Humor in the wedding helps show the couple a lighter side of themselves."

During her five years as an officiant, Dones has heard some vows that are doozies.

There was one couple who included "do you promise to shine his shoes and press his uniform" in their vows, she said.  Another man wanted to be sure his future wife would promise never to ask him to go camping.

"I think for military couples their life is so stressful that adding a funny vow helps make their day something uplifting and fun," Dones said.

In many cases, military couples are in a hurry, and they don't typically write their own vows, said Lori Erwin Johnson - www.lerwinjohnson.com - a Tacoma officiant.  However, she has had some pretty unusual wedding theme requests.

Johnson recently performed a wedding with a NASCAR theme.  The groom wore a NASCAR shirt, and the aisle was covered with hay.

"The groom carried a beer stein in his hand," she said. "When the ceremony was done, everyone yelled, ‘Get her done!'  It was all meant to be amusing."

Sometimes traditional vows leave brides thinking about what they are marrying into, said Cynthia Minnitti - www.ceremoniesbycynthia.com.  She recalled one ceremony where the bride froze.

"When the bride got to for richer or for poorer, she hesitated," Minnitti said.  "She was marrying an enlisted man, and I guess she realized that he would not make a lot of money.  There was a very awkward silence, but she did eventually say the vows."

To meet the needs of the military couples, Minnitti performs ceremonies all hours of the day or night.

"There are a lot of people who have a secret wedding before a deployment," she said. "They want to get married before the deployment.  What makes it so somber is that they don't know if the military person will return or not. "

She recalled one couple with a bride from Hawaii.  She flew in at 8 a.m., and they wanted to be married right before she was deployed.  For people who are stationed here, Minnitti offers an elopement wedding for which the military couples are invited to her home for a quiet, intimate, wedding.

"I try to make their wedding special even if it's quick," she said.  "I tell the couples that even if the wedding is small it counts.  They don't know if their spouse will ever return.  It is their real wedding day even if they are planning a lavish event later."

Averaging 40 ceremonies a year for military service members, Joyce O'Kane has been a wedding officiant for 14 years.  She owns Wedding by the Sea and the Day Island Bed and Breakfast - www.dayislandbb.com - in University Place.  In recent months she has noticed an increase in demand for her wedding services due in part to frequent deployments.

To better serve her military couples, she searched the Internet for vows that she rewrites to meet their needs.

One set of vows asks, "Wilt thou love her, comfort her via the postal service, e-mail, or over the phone, make sure she knows where the commissary, PX, and church are, and what time she is scheduled to use the laundry room the day she arrives, wherever you are stationed."  She performs these funny vows with the traditional vows.