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Best of Olympia 2019: Old School Pizzeria

Writer's pick: Best Bathroom

Toto, we’re not in Kansas anymore. (Credit: Jackie Fender)

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Define, best. Because here's the thing, sometimes the best thing, a true winner in my book, is something that is exceptional. Exceptional could be applied in so many facets of life: unusual, extraordinary, unprecedented -- you could say memorable even. And let's face it, Old School Pizzeria lures you back again and again because it's anything but mundane.

And while I could go on about devouring perfectly prepared slices of pizza pie on paper plates while playing old school arcade games and searching the walls for a sliver of nostalgia in the form of my favorite childhood celebrity crush, we are instead going to talk about the potty. My favorite restroom in all of Olympia. I'm not talking about fancy upholstery waiting couches, seashell soap bars and chandelier best, oh no. There's no fun in that.

The coded door begins our adventure with a bit of a mystery. What lies beyond the threshold? Type in the password and slide open the door to reveal a poorly lit nook and an instant flash of awe. There's no fixing your do or checking for pepperoni between your teeth because there's no mirror. Which might be for the best as the ambiance has me thinking of classic horror movie moments where the supernatural forces emerge from mirrored surfaces. I'd prefer not to tempt the fates.

And the walls? Grafitti adorns every surface space like a modern-day tome. I could sit in there for hours deciphering the text and I'm certain within secrets of the Holy Grail and Stacie's phone number will be unearthed. Seriously though, it's everywhere, even the ceiling -- how did someone get up there? I imagine a jet pack clad hooligan that only ‘80s special effects could pull off. No doubt about it.

And when it's time to wipe, get prepared. The Johnny paper dispenser squeaks and groans worse than the Tin Man from Oz. I thank the heavens for the blasting rock music just outside this space so that no one dining can serve as jury, judge and executioner, giving me the side-eyed sneer only one who used more than their fair share of double ply-ed squares deserves.

I cannot tell a lie, I'll make up an excuse to wash my hands just so I can revisit Old School's Pizzeria's potty each and every time. It is exceptional, after all.

Old School Pizzeria, 11 a.m. to 10 p.m., Monday-Thursday; 11 a.m. to 11 p.m., Friday-Saturday; noon-10 p.m., Sunday, 108 Franklin St. NE, Olympia, 360.786.9640,

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