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Rock And Roll Craft Show

Crafty group goes hardcore with their creative wiggles

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As a matter of fact, the "Rock and Roll Craft Show" is not the latest thrash-punk, power-pop musical sensation to wander out of a condemned Tacoma garage.  According to York Sandifer, one of the founding godfathers of the "testosterone driven craft experience," the concept is simple: "It's Martha Stewart meets Iron Maiden." 

It also can be described, mathematically, as Martha Stewart plus Conan O'Brian divided by alcohol, multiplied by nicotine in an encapsulated 30-minute TV show format.

In the eyes of York, who is known as Yorkatron on the show, and the other godfathers "Rex Everything" and "Mac," it would basically look like manly crafts, a healthy dose of ribald humor, and the 253 representing prominently.

And if they, and the local group of 10 core friends helping to make the idea happen, have anything to do with it, the idea will be a huge runaway success gobbled up by the networks hungry for reality TV that doesn't suck.

Specifically, ideas in the works for the pilot include the Nuclear Bomb-B-Q, a functional 750-pound barbecue crafted out of a Korean War shell, which may possibly be seen in its food-cooking functional capacity on Ruston Way at some point. 

Add to that skits that sketch the life and times of Marvelo and his magical ass-slap (think, "good gaming" goes Midas Touch) and "The Adventures of Transvestite Man and Bowling Boy," where magic drugs turns a mild-mannered couple of T-town dudes into superheroes.  Possible upcoming shows could show viewers how to paper a shelving unit in old rock posters or how to create a rock T-shirt quilt. Possibly, there might be a "Behind the Craft Show" ("Behind the Music" spoof) skit in which York crashes his Trans Am.

But between the cigarettes, the alcohol, and the metal sound track, it won't be like sewing with Nancy, he says.

Will it be like "Jackass"?

"Sure," says York. "But we're not really stupid like they are."

And the "Rock and Roll Craft Show" won't be just obscure humor that could very possibly rival "South Park" in randomness: there will be big names involved here.  Wrestler El Niño, in mask and a Speedo, will teach viewers of the show how to change a tire.  Three Inches of Blood will play as musical guests.

And when all is said and done and Marvelo the ass-slap man is done making magic, he might hop into the now-braking car with El Niño, and the two will grab a bite at the MSM Deli.

Because that's just what you do in Tacoma.

See clips from the "Rock and Roll Craft Show" at www.myspace.com/rrcs or go to their Web site to buy cool "Rock and Roll Craft Show" stuff you can wear.

Send letters, e-mails, and phone calls to every network you can think of, except possibly Oxygen and Lifetime, and demand the "Rock and Roll Craft Show."

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