Trista Huckleberry, a University of Washington Tacoma assistant professor with a PhD in psychology, has extensive education and experience in child development matters.

She spent time with The Ranger to help shed some light on coping when deployments result in disabilities.

TRISTA HUCKLEBERRY: When parents return from deployment injured, the child's reaction is similar to when parents are injured during situations in the U.S. Depending on the severity, the child's concerns would need to be addressed accordingly. For example, a parent that returns with a broken leg would need the child to understand that he or she will heal but will not be able to participate in many activities for some months. More complex situations, such as when a parent returns with a permanent disability, such as losing eyesight or amputations, would require a more focused conversation. In this conversation the parent would need to express how life will change for both the child and the parent, expressing clearly that the character of activities might change but the quality of life will still be maintained. Although this may seem difficult for the parent to express, he or she should remember that children yearn for stability, especially when significant changes abound, so the emphasis should be on maintaining simple activities with the child, such as tucking them in at night, talking with him or her over dinner, and helping with schoolwork in the evening.

It is maintaining the consistency of these little activities that allow children to adjust more easily to the big upheavals.

THE RANGER: How, specifically, can kids be expected to react to that kind of circumstance, in terms of behavior, and what feelings create what behaviors?

What behavior is "normal," and what creates a need for intervention?

TH: During times of significant change, of any circumstance, it should be expected that the child have many questions. A parent should be able to address the questions and allow an open discussion of the child's fears and anxieties. Parents should be concerned when the child closes up and does not ask any questions or fully withdraws and does not appear to have any investment in the situation. Although an adjustment period is always needed, at some point, the child needs to express their feelings, whatever they may be. If the child does not express any interest in the parent's condition, it could be that they are overwhelmed by anxiety, fearful of the future or just unsure of what they feel. An intervention, such as talking with a professional, may give them different options to explore and then appropriately express his or her feelings.

THE RANGER: How useful is humor in coping? Is maintaining the ability to laugh a valid coping mechanism?

TH: Humor and laughter have important healing properties. First, it serves as an emotional catharsis or release of pent-up emotion. Secondly, it demonstrates optimism and positive perspective taking. It should be noted, however, that humor should not be used to hide or subvert the very real anxieties and fears that emerge during any form of family injury or life-changing event. However, when families are able to laugh and joke, in coordination with serious and appropriate expression of fear and anxiety, the outlook for their emotional health is quite positive.