Olympia Satanists hold its monthly meeting in the Olympia Center. Personally, I have no interest in standing with the cloven-hooved Lord of Ordure - that South Park movie effectively declawed Old Scratch - but I advertise his conclave chiefly to counter the actions of a club of Evergreen fundamentalists who keep removing Satanists' flyers. (Not cool, Christians. A simple "get behind me" will do.) I was surprised to learn Olympia Satanists have a blog and a Facebook page; topics covered there include a hidden egg project, prayers of gratitude for fornication, and how to grow a silly "Satanic" Penn Jillette beard. Even more diabolical, they promise to lure you into their evil embrace through the strategic application of cookies. Not the Internet kind - just ... cookies. Those fork-tailed bastards.

OLYMPIA CENTER, OLYMPIA SATANISTS GATHERING, FREE (UNLESS YOU VALUE YOUR MORTAL SOUL), 7:30 P.M., 222 COLUMBUS ST. NW, OLYMPIA, OLYMPIA.WORSHIPSATAN.ORG