Your parents always knew when you grew up you'd spend Easter in a dive bar/pool hall on South Tacoma Avenue celebrating the resurrection of the Big J by competing in a drunken talent contest where the grand prize is $100. The T-Town Gong Show at Malarkey's, which starts at 6 p.m., is your destiny. Limber up those double joints, and just think about all the crappy beer $100 can buy. (Hint: It's a lot.)

[Malarkey's Pool and Brew, 6-8 p.m.. $5 per contestant, NC, 445 Tacoma Ave. S., Tacoma, 253.383.3301]