WHO NEEDS A LAUGH? >>>

Earthquake, tsunami, economy, oil spill ... Let's face it, we could all use a good laugh. So do yourself a favor and enjoy a little levity courtesy of Ty Barnett tonight at Jazzbones' Ha Ha Tuesdays night. This talented comedian was inspired by Chris Rock and Richard Pryor and has appeared on The Tonight Show many times. The Army vet and single parent found breakthrough success in 2006, when he was the runner-up on season 4 of the NBC reality show Last Comic Standing. Hosted by Ralph PoRter, Ha Ha will also feature Rodger Lizaola.

And after you're good and loose from laughing, why not stick around for DJ Omar and dancing?

Ha Ha Tuesdays

With Ty Barnett and Rodger Lizaola
Tuesday, June 1, 8 p.m., 21 and older, $10
Jazzbones, 2803 Sixth Ave., Tacoma
253.396.9169

TRIPLE SHOT OF THE SURREAL >>>

Thursday, May 27

AMBI3NT N1GHT: Avant-garde musicians Ben Paris, Phil Harty, Lucas Webster and Nicholas Hartzell will mess with time, space and dimension via ethereal soundscapes and minimalist tones while Kris Crews' abstract video commands the wall space tonight at the Fulcrum Gallery.

"I plan to screen a mixed bag. Several of the featured artists are providing video to accompany their sets," explains Crews.

For example, Ben Paris will bring a multi-media collage of found video samples that Crews will mix between Paris' eccentric video clips with a live video mixer that allows Crews to tweak and distort the video in real time. He calls the Paris project Ethereal Weeping.

"For Lucas Webster And Nicolas Hartzell's sets, I will be doing more of the same, but mixing between clips that I have personally produced. Phil Harty has shot and self-produced a video to accompany his set. Harty calls his multi-media project Smile For The Sky, which will be his first live performance of the work."

Fulcrum's Ambi3nt N1ght provides an opportunity for Crews to get really abstract with visual effects.

"It is a kaleidoscopic eye-candy explosion within an expanding universe of sound," he adds. "I really do show kaleidoscopic video; that's not just a fun adjective. 7 p.m., all ages, $5, Fulcrum Gallery, 1308 Martin Luther King Jr. Way, Tacoma, 253.250.0520

Friday, May 28

VINONLY: Tacoma DJ collective Vinly Tribe resides at the Tempest Lounge every Fourth Friday. This week they'll spin strictly vinyl concentrating on the ‘90s. 9:30 p.m., no cover, Tempest Lounge, 913 Martin Luther king Jr. Way, Tacoma, 253.272.4904

Saturday, May 29

ARTIFAKT: The Artifakt folks are back at Jazzbones with another packed night of artwork and hip-hop. Logics, Fatal Lucciauno, State Of The Artist and DJs Hanibal and Reign provide the tunes. Artwork by Tyler Haney, Xavier Lopez, Jeremy Gregory and Julie Luke will don the walls. Luke will also be performing live art. 9 p.m., $5 before 10:30 p.m., $8 after, Jazzbones, 2803 Sixth Ave., Tacoma, 253.396.9169.

LINK: South Sound music calendar

EVERY SECOND FRIDAY AT THE TEMPEST >>>

In the grand, and unusual, tradition of skinny English boys bopping about in even skinnier ties to American soul and jazz music, local DJs Bobby Galaxy and dAb offer a night of are soul, funk, jazz and rare grooves under the tag Rare Groove.

Back in the day, Brits loved obscure American soul records almost as much as they loved mayonnaise and cucumber sandwiches. Galaxy and dAb celebrate this phenomenon by playing authentic, obscure soul, funk and jazz records. It's the kind of music that would have been heard at all-night parties in Manchester or Blackpool back in the day.

Bring your own skinny tie.

Rare Groove

Second Fridays, 9:30 p.m. to close, no cover
Tempest Lounge, 913 Martin Luther King Junior Way, Tacoma,
253.272.4904

TODAY IN LAKEWOOD CLUBBING >>>

Everybody needs to party. There's nothing like a night of serious clubbing to blow off steam.

But the scene is an ever-changing monster. New clubs constantly open. The music constantly changes, the fashions constantly evolve. When I started clubbing years back, the style was raver. Everywhere you went you saw glow sticks and visors, baggy pants and backpacks. After a while, those godawful pimp-inspired getups took over. (If I never see another pimp hat or fuzzy green leopard-print coat, it'll be too soon.) Nowadays, fashion is a slicker and a bit more urban. A few years back, no one would dare wear a pair of jeans out - now they're all over.

Beginning Friday, Lakewood will have another chance to dance. The Longhorn Saloon & Restaurant reopens with an interior remodel including a brand spanking new dance floor. They cut the bar in half and shoved it back to make room for the Electric Slide.

No word yet who will be spinning on the weekends. We assume they'll still serve those freakishly strong Jell-O shots.

[Longhorn Saloon & Restaurant, reopens April 2, 10011 Bridgeport Way SW, Lakewood, 253.581.2580]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY 1022! >>>

Coming into its own, general manager Chris Langston and staff of Tacoma's 1022 South lounge celebrated its one-year anniversary along with a packed house last night. From 6 p.m. on it was standing room only; granted this is not a difficult feat given the lounge's actual physical dimensions. The difference is that those standing were content to do so if it meant possible seating later.

I wrote a little recap of the party in the Bars and Clubs section. I also posted some photos in the Photo Hot Spot.

Cheers

IT'S A GLOOMY DAY >>>

The appeal can be summed up in a sentence: What happens at Dress-A-Raoke stays at Dress-A-Raoke - although I'm talking more about embarrassingly heartfelt karaoke choices (oh, for a Gloom Chaser drink and the music to "Chevy Van!") than about any activities stretching into the realms of illicit, illegal or enjoyable. No matter how wild the night can be, this is still Tacoma, not Bangkok.

Let's skip past the "Chevy Van" subject and talk Gloom Chaser.

The drink doesn't chase it away; it brings it on - especially on an empty stomach.

The Tempest Lounge - hosts of Thursday night Dress-A-Raoke (karaoke with props and hosted by Colin) - serves the $10 Gloom Chaser. Served in a pint glass, this liquid of death contains Belvedere Intense Vodka (100 proof), Grand Marnier, PatronCitronge liqueur, fresh squeezed lemon juice, dash of grenadine, and topped with soda.

Lost in the music and artist Teddy Haggarty's Hollywood stories, I accidentally drank three of these.

Enough said.

NEW DANCE NIGHT AT THE CLIPPER >>>

Slip on your Cleopatra Jones afro or your dad's toupee and slide on over to The China Clipper for the "Funky Empire Strikes Back" funk-soul-electro-eclectic mix with DJ El Goonie tomorrow night. His new Saturday night dance party series will be full of rubbery grooves, slick licks and hi-tech keys caked in stardust.

Goonie and his band of rotating DJs - tomorrow night features DJ The Jessica - created the dance night to fill a gap in the Olympia scene. Their goal is to created a spot to chill, have a few drinks, and if you feel the funk, then boogie.

Goonie wants to stress that it will be an eclectic mix with funk as the underlying bass - from today's music reaching back to the mid-60s.

"It's gonna be more fun than selling fake insurance on closeout cell phones at a mid-mall kiosk in Tacoma," state Goonie.

Yea, I have no idea what that means.

[The China Clipper, every Saturday, 10 p.m., no cover, 402 4th Ave. E., Olympia, 360.943.6300]

AIR GUITAR CONTEST >>>

The perfect outlet for people who think Rock Band requires too many real guitar skills will arrive in Lakewood Saturday night.

The folks from The Schooner Pub & Galley — who will host a Hot Legs Contest tonight at 11 p.m. — will host an Air Guitar Contest tomorrow night at 11 p.m.

Mastering the air guitar takes a lot - just not an actual instrument. Competitors will be judged on technical merit, because the more your invisible fretwork matches to the music, the more you might be able to convince people you're actually playing an invisible guitar, not an air guitar. (Call it the emperor's new Fender.) Not surprisingly, stage presence also matters, because, well, it's all you've got.

[The Schooner Pub & Gallery, Saturday, March 13, 11 p.m., 5429 100^th St. S.W., Lakewood, 253.584.1919]

NEW FILM NIGHT IN OLYMPIA >>>

Action film junkies, today is your day. And so will be next Tuesday. And the Tuesday after that. Your Mecca has become Tough Guys Tuesdays at The Urban Onion in downtown Olympia. Owen Taylor, a Weekly Volcano scribe, will launch the action movie double feature weekly event tonight with Deathsport and a special surprise flick.

"The films will be a blend of the best and worst, some campy, some underground, some amazing, all fitting to a few basic criteria: highly trained weapons experts, double-crossings, revenge, bullets everywhere, blood, guts, one-liners, lots of shit blowing up, car chases, horse chases, great sword fights, perfect hair, and always getting the girl/love interest," explains Taylor. "Oh, and gratuitous nudity when possible."

The films will be screened via a digital projector on The Urban Onion's wall facing Sylvester Park.

Food and drink options include $1 Millers, $2 cheap ass whiskey and yet to be determined food specials.

Also expect prize giveaways, trivia and rock ‘n' roll.

Will there be an arm-wrestling contest?

"Only if I can find a copy of Over The Top," adds Taylor.

[The Urban Onion Restaurant and Lounge, every Tuesday, 7 p.m., no cover, 116 Legion Way SE, Olympia, 360.943.9242]

TODAY - THE CHEAP WAY >>>

Hell's Kitchen in downtown Tacoma presents another Tightwad Tuesday featuring $2 tacos (two), $2 beers (any beer) and $2 wells (swell!) beginning at 4 p.m.

The Flying Boots Café and Spur Room in the Lincoln District celebrates Tipsy Tuesday from 8 p.m. to 1 a.m. with $2.75 wells and $2.75 Bud.