CALLING ALL CRUMB-CATCHERS! >>>

Move. Groove. Groom. Your mustache.

Masa restaurant hosts a Mustache Party Wednesday, March 3 featuring its resident DJs spinning the latest music video while you dance your mustache off.

Don't have a mustache?

You're in luck. Masa will give a free mustache for everyone that walks through its doors Wednesday night.

Drink specials include $4 Jäger shots (Jäger Girls will be in the house), $3.50 for 24-ounce Tacates and $4 "Mustacheo" shots.

There's no peach fuzz at this party (21+ only).

[Masa, Wednesday, March 3, 9:30 p.m., ladies free, cover for guys after 11 p.m., 2811 Sixth Ave., Tacoma, 253.254.0560]

TODAY - THE CHEAP WAY >>>

Hell's Kitchen in downtown Tacoma presents another Tightwad Tuesday featuring $2 tacos (two), $2 beers (any beer) and $2 wells (swell!) beginning at 4 p.m.

The Flying Boots Café and Spur Room in the Lincoln District celebrates Tipsy Tuesday from 8 p.m. to 1 a.m. with $2.75 wells and $2.75 Bud.

NEW FILM NIGHT IN OLYMPIA >>>

Action film junkies, today is your day. And so will be next Tuesday. And the Tuesday after that. Your Mecca has become Tough Guys Tuesdays at The Urban Onion in downtown Olympia. Owen Taylor, a Weekly Volcano scribe, will launch the action movie double feature weekly event tonight with Deathsport and a special surprise flick.

"The films will be a blend of the best and worst, some campy, some underground, some amazing, all fitting to a few basic criteria: highly trained weapons experts, double-crossings, revenge, bullets everywhere, blood, guts, one-liners, lots of shit blowing up, car chases, horse chases, great sword fights, perfect hair, and always getting the girl/love interest," explains Taylor. "Oh, and gratuitous nudity when possible."

The films will be screened via a digital projector on The Urban Onion's wall facing Sylvester Park.

Food and drink options include $1 Millers, $2 cheap ass whiskey and yet to be determined food specials.

Also expect prize giveaways, trivia and rock ‘n' roll.

Will there be an arm-wrestling contest?

"Only if I can find a copy of Over The Top," adds Taylor.

[The Urban Onion Restaurant and Lounge, every Tuesday, 7 p.m., no cover, 116 Legion Way SE, Olympia, 360.943.9242]

AIR GUITAR CONTEST >>>

The perfect outlet for people who think Rock Band requires too many real guitar skills will arrive in Lakewood Saturday night.

The folks from The Schooner Pub & Galley — who will host a Hot Legs Contest tonight at 11 p.m. — will host an Air Guitar Contest tomorrow night at 11 p.m.

Mastering the air guitar takes a lot - just not an actual instrument. Competitors will be judged on technical merit, because the more your invisible fretwork matches to the music, the more you might be able to convince people you're actually playing an invisible guitar, not an air guitar. (Call it the emperor's new Fender.) Not surprisingly, stage presence also matters, because, well, it's all you've got.

[The Schooner Pub & Gallery, Saturday, March 13, 11 p.m., 5429 100^th St. S.W., Lakewood, 253.584.1919]

NEW DANCE NIGHT AT THE CLIPPER >>>

Slip on your Cleopatra Jones afro or your dad's toupee and slide on over to The China Clipper for the "Funky Empire Strikes Back" funk-soul-electro-eclectic mix with DJ El Goonie tomorrow night. His new Saturday night dance party series will be full of rubbery grooves, slick licks and hi-tech keys caked in stardust.

Goonie and his band of rotating DJs - tomorrow night features DJ The Jessica - created the dance night to fill a gap in the Olympia scene. Their goal is to created a spot to chill, have a few drinks, and if you feel the funk, then boogie.

Goonie wants to stress that it will be an eclectic mix with funk as the underlying bass - from today's music reaching back to the mid-60s.

"It's gonna be more fun than selling fake insurance on closeout cell phones at a mid-mall kiosk in Tacoma," state Goonie.

Yea, I have no idea what that means.

[The China Clipper, every Saturday, 10 p.m., no cover, 402 4th Ave. E., Olympia, 360.943.6300]

IT'S A GLOOMY DAY >>>

The appeal can be summed up in a sentence: What happens at Dress-A-Raoke stays at Dress-A-Raoke - although I'm talking more about embarrassingly heartfelt karaoke choices (oh, for a Gloom Chaser drink and the music to "Chevy Van!") than about any activities stretching into the realms of illicit, illegal or enjoyable. No matter how wild the night can be, this is still Tacoma, not Bangkok.

Let's skip past the "Chevy Van" subject and talk Gloom Chaser.

The drink doesn't chase it away; it brings it on - especially on an empty stomach.

The Tempest Lounge - hosts of Thursday night Dress-A-Raoke (karaoke with props and hosted by Colin) - serves the $10 Gloom Chaser. Served in a pint glass, this liquid of death contains Belvedere Intense Vodka (100 proof), Grand Marnier, PatronCitronge liqueur, fresh squeezed lemon juice, dash of grenadine, and topped with soda.

Lost in the music and artist Teddy Haggarty's Hollywood stories, I accidentally drank three of these.

Enough said.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY 1022! >>>

Coming into its own, general manager Chris Langston and staff of Tacoma's 1022 South lounge celebrated its one-year anniversary along with a packed house last night. From 6 p.m. on it was standing room only; granted this is not a difficult feat given the lounge's actual physical dimensions. The difference is that those standing were content to do so if it meant possible seating later.

I wrote a little recap of the party in the Bars and Clubs section. I also posted some photos in the Photo Hot Spot.

Cheers

TODAY IN LAKEWOOD CLUBBING >>>

Everybody needs to party. There's nothing like a night of serious clubbing to blow off steam.

But the scene is an ever-changing monster. New clubs constantly open. The music constantly changes, the fashions constantly evolve. When I started clubbing years back, the style was raver. Everywhere you went you saw glow sticks and visors, baggy pants and backpacks. After a while, those godawful pimp-inspired getups took over. (If I never see another pimp hat or fuzzy green leopard-print coat, it'll be too soon.) Nowadays, fashion is a slicker and a bit more urban. A few years back, no one would dare wear a pair of jeans out - now they're all over.

Beginning Friday, Lakewood will have another chance to dance. The Longhorn Saloon & Restaurant reopens with an interior remodel including a brand spanking new dance floor. They cut the bar in half and shoved it back to make room for the Electric Slide.

No word yet who will be spinning on the weekends. We assume they'll still serve those freakishly strong Jell-O shots.

[Longhorn Saloon & Restaurant, reopens April 2, 10011 Bridgeport Way SW, Lakewood, 253.581.2580]