I couldn't do it. I tried to take a day job as a receptionist and magnificently failed to wrangle my boredom. Some people have the calmness trait: It makes you happy sitting in front of a dead computer screen, staring at the phone, waiting for it to ring ... but not me. I wanted to throw my damn coffee mug at someone's head, specifically the person who invented the desk. Without desks, there would be no such thing as a boring desk job.

While Melanie Rushforth was back in town from running around the United States for the past few months, I had a chance to catch up with her over happy hour at Stanley and Seafort‘s. We chatted about the demise of yet another "boring desk job" attempt made by me, how awesome the Weekly Volcano is (specifically Pappi Swarner) and talked about an upcoming June 2 event that is both awesome and non-boring: Tap into T-Town.

If only I got paid to do Tap into T-Town, the world's most wonderful scavenger hunt/drinking binge to ever hit the streets. Sigh.

Bartender's Choice: Pomegranate Margarita

I housed this drink like it was nobody's business. Melanie stared at me in what was either disbelief or disgust. Maybe it was a stare of envy, but I doubt that. Very rarely do I do something that Melanie Rushforth can't do.

Bartender Derrick explained that, seeing as it was happy hour, my pomegranate margarita was made with Juarez tequila instead of the regular-priced drink typically made with Don Julio. Although it didn't really matter to me because like I said, I housed that shit.

Most popular drink within the last hour: Blueberry Crush

Again, I owned it. One gulp and it was gone. Fresh blueberries muddled and then shaken with blueberry vodka and fresh sweet and sour - 'twas divine.

My choice: Blueberry Tea

No telling why in the hell they call this a "blueberry" tea. The throat-warming drink was made of hot water, spice tea and Grand Marnier, but no blueberries. Derrick thinks it was simply a handed-down name and could not explain its origins.

As Melanie scorned my alcohol abuse I simply reminded her of what vision kept me focused on drinking practice: My team WILL win Tap into T-Town this year. The gauntlet has been thrown. I dare you to challenge.

Editor's Note: Every week, we send our valiant columnist Steph DeRosa out into the South Sound to drink three drinks. In one sitting.