Let this be your rallying cry. Let it be your new hot-button topic, a raw naked wildfire underground grassroots crusade, your juiciest of incentive programs, your inspired call to hit South Sound lounges and bars and taverns.

It's a new old column called 3 Drink Minimum. It's maximum fun.

The rules are simple: I visit a drinking establishment, let the bartender pick my first drink, then drink the crowd's favorite libation served within the last hour and finish off with the drink of my choice.

Let's be honest: Lakewood doesn't really cut the mustard when it comes to raging party palaces. But a mellow spot to soak up your sorrows? Lakewood has more than its share. Architect Guy James summoned on a Friday night. Hell is other people on a Friday night, but Lakewood Pub and Grill has the game on, and I am very unpleasant, so we stake fairly quickly. I'm a rule follower; I let the bartender set the pace for the evening. Server April brings back a something and Coke. She asks me, "What is the second best thing he could have made?" I said bourbon. We are given three guesses as to the drink's identity, which makes me feel like April is a wizard. I eat a meatball sandwich and drink the Wild Turkey and Coke. Everything is good, probably forever.

3 Drink Minimum, part Deux - the most popular drink in the last hour at Lakewood Pub and Grill is Coors Light. OK, not a fan. I associate it with tractor pulls, dispenser nachos and belching each other's names. I soon forget the taste as I find amusement watching the vast majority of the clientele scared shitless over Black Label Society's "Bleed For Me" blasting out of the speakers. An old lady grabs her heart. False alarm, everything still rules.

For my choice, I ask April for a White Russian. She picks up on the fact that this is an actual assignment, and that I don't just arbitrarily make up rules that dictate my evenings out. I kinda want to start doing that now. As for the drink, what can I say? The Dude likes White Russians, and so do I. Lakewood Pub makes a tasty dessert course cocktail. Creamy.

I complain a little more to James. Led Zeppelin's "Black Dog" comes on. Everything is good. Forever.

LAKEWOOD PUB AND GRILL, 7505 Steilacoom Blvd. SW, Lakewood, 253.582.9195