The text message came in frantic, and at first I didn’t understand it.



“Dude, sit down. Billy Ray Cyrus has a womb broom,” it read.



A day later when I got to work, the sender — Weekly Volcano staff writer Michael Swan — cleared things up.



“Billy Ray Cyrus has a womb broom, dude!” he said, pointing to the middle space below his lower lip where a tuft of hair used to be.



“I had to shave it,” he stated flatly.



The news hit me like a ton of bricks, and I instantly realized its importance. Not only did Swan sport a “womb broom” until the Cyrus revelation — but I’ve proudly rocked the same look (which I’ll refer to as a “soul patch” from here on out) since 2000.



What had I become? A relic of the past? A man lost in time? A guy with achy breaky facial hair?



Sure, I’d had an inkling something was amiss before, but I’d always let it slide. I never gave much credence to the idea that my facial hair might be dated, that it might have served its purpose and run its course, that it might be time to let it go.



Until the Billy Ray Cyrus development, that is. Crisis has a way of making you consider things previously unthinkable.



Knowing this, it wasn’t surprising to hear Pierce County Auditor Jan Shabro’s recent proposal to suspend poll voting in the PC for our county’s August primaries and November general election. Such a move would save Shabro’s office close to $150,000 in a time when cutting budgets is the name of the game. Even though Pierce County has become like the Rudy of poll voting, sticking up for the way it’s always been and the sanctity of democratic tradition in the face of mounting pressure from the condescending state legislature — now, facing the budget crunch to end all budget crunches, it seemed natural for Shabro and Pierce County to consider reversing course.



Crisis has a way of making you consider the previously unthinkable, after all.

Really, such a change wouldn’t be revolutionary. As lawmakers from other counties were fond of pointing out during this year’s legislative session (especially while trying to pass HB 1572, which would have forced our county to get in line with the rest of the state when it comes to voting) Pierce County IS the only county left that offers actual polling places.



Every other county in the state votes by mail. Why not Pierce County, they kept asking?

The answer is: the same reason I’m keeping the soul patch. Tradition means something — even if it’s become outdated. Even if everyone else tells you it’s stupid. Even if it makes life a little bit more difficult.



People in Pierce County take pride and comfort in the fact we still actually go vote — as opposed to licking a stamp. We like that. We care about it. If that makes us un-cool, so be it. We’re from Pierce County, after all. We should be used to it.



So a rare kudos goes out to the entire Pierce County Council, which voted Tuesday, May 5 to keep the polls in Pierce County open — even if it means Shabro’s life is a little bit tougher and she’ll have to find other ways to trim her budget.



At least she doesn’t look like Billy Ray Cyrus.