The TacomaGnome is a blogging online entity and a force to be reckoned with. I usually find his Norwegian-influenced interviews to be nothing less than cleverly thought out and insurmountably hilarious. This time, I was able to be the interviewer, and he the interviewee — something this tiny garden gnome was not familiar with. I dreamed of giving him some DeRosa trouble, and in a sit-down interview at Mad Hat Tea Company my dream finally came true ... much to his dismay.
STEPH DEROSA: How old are you, anyway?
TACOMA GNOME: 300
DEROSA: Dang, that’s old. Is that calculated in dog years?
GNOME: No. Literal years, you fool.
DEROSA: What is it like being 300?
GNOME: Rather odd at times. On my Facebook page, I get adverts for mature dating ... they set the bar of mature as 40 and above. I find that to be humorous.
DEROSA: Do you think I’ll be of mature, sound mind by the age of 40?
GNOME: Hades, no.
DEROSA: Do you work at the age of 300? Seems to me all you do is stand around in gardens. Scarcely seems like “work” to me.
GNOME: I can hardly believe, after reading months of your drivel, that you even know what work is.
DEROSA: Wow, you’re a feisty little sucker. I don’t know if your age is getting to you, but you seem to be a tad on edge. Or maybe you’re drinking more than just tea.
GNOME: I am drinking a strong ginger tea. It soothes my bowels, as I knew this conversation would take fortitude that I did not have. Plus, with the indoor smoking ban, I cannot enjoy my pipe.
DEROSA: I bet you put something really good in that pipe. Go ahead, confess.
GNOME: I care to not dignify that question with a response.
DEROSA: This interview is really going nowhere quick. Don’t you have somewhere to be? As a matter of fact, why don’t you blog on the Seattle area?
GNOME: How dare you lure me into this lair, gin me up and then take the time to ask me such inane things. I’m the Tacoma Gnome ... inconceivable! Who is your editor? I demand that I get to talk with him ... I can hardly believe a prat such as yourself could come along and be as ignorant a twit ... I never ...
Check out the Gnome at tacomagnome.blogspot.com/