Bandito and I opted to play it safe when ordering food from Golden West Restaurant and Lounge on South Tacoma Way, and stuck with items that even Marilyn Manson couldn’t fuck up. Like grilled cheese and a club sandwich. Sounds like an easy order, right?
 
Not necessarily.
 
Neesie the bartender was on top of her health code game as she witnessed the cook drop the toast on the kitchen floor that was to be my club sandwich’s middle layer, and caught him trying to use it anyway. Say what? That’s right; she caught him trying to give me dirty toast. With all her bartending superpowers she had fought off a cook’s evil wrongdoings and protected me from deadly kitchen floor dirt. Neesie will from now on be my hero.
 
The best part is she actually came over and told me. Well, she had to have a reason why there was no middle layer to my club sandwich. You know, ’cause I question that shit. A club sammie is not a club sammie without that middle layer of bread.
 
Art, whom I suppose is the owner of Golden West, was making his rounds to all his intoxicated daytime regulars. The fact that Bandito and I were new to the joint had no baring on whether or not we were on his map of patrons to stop and chat with. Small talk was made, drinks were had, and (hopefully) dirt-free sandwiches were eaten.
 
All the dive bar attributes were alive and well inside Golden West. Bad carpeting, funky smells, low lights, beer signage, pull tabs, dart machines, and only domestics on tap made this bar a shoe-in. The writing was on the walls for Golden West this week. I mean literally, there was writing on the walls. Besides Neesie, the writing was our favorite part of this week’s Bar Exam dive bar.

Buffino’s Golden West Restaurant and Lounge

5228 S. Tacoma Way, Tacoma, 253.471.9892

Food: May or may not be clean
Beer: Domestics
Service: Neesie can definitely pour a great beer
 
Bar Exam Dive Grade: B+