As soon as the Swiss started serving hard alcohol almost four years ago, this corner of 19th and Jefferson became one of the spiciest spots in Tacoma.



The Swiss turns into an urban playground every Friday and Saturday. There aren’t any jungle gyms per se, but the men are usually tall enough for that.



It’s a perfect place for the attention deficit disorder. The main bar is great for boozing, socializing and ass slapping. The back room houses bar games, and that’s where you’ll most likely find the playas. The center stage and dance floor are for the blaring cover bands. I love it when Kry plays Weezer’s “Beverly Hills.” You’ll also see white trash ’80s dancing with The Retros and what looks like MTV’s “The Grind” as hip-hop is spun when the bands take their breaks.



Droves of people ambush the place on the weekends. Dirty South Sound Soldiers: You MUST be prepared. Here’s your survival kit:



Eat all of the pizza and pasta you can at The Rock, right next door, to brace your body for the damage you’re about to do. Order a bucket (a beach-like sand bucket full of yummy jungle juice) so you won’t be able to feel your toes when they’re getting stomped on later. Better yet, order Valerie the bartender’s grape Nehi. I’d drink ’em until I got canker sores if I thought my liver could stand it.



Arm yourself with plenty of cash for the cover and booze at the Swiss. Waiting for your card at the end of the night takes forever; plus let’s be real, how many of us actually remember to close out?



Arrive before 10 p.m. so you won’t have to wait in line to get in.



Use the bathrooms in the back of the bar; they’re typically less congested.



The crowd ordering drinks at the front bar is pretty unbearable. Whenever possible, go to Bob’s mini bar in the back for bottled beer and shots. That’s the fastest way to get service. If your taste is more refined, get to the front of the line and try something new from any of the 36 beers on tap. The Swiss regularly rotates its kegs so you can increase your microbrew IQ. I think that’s hot.



Trying to muster the courage to talk to that special someone? Take a Vitamin C shot, and then go get it, get it?



If you have the chance, sit at the bar. It’s another great way to get service, and it’s fun to watch the chaos. Each of the bartenders has a different kind of magical charisma, and I’m secretly in love with all of them.



Really, the best advice I can offer about the Swiss is you just gotta rock it.

See ya there.



[The Swiss, 1904 Jefferson Ave. S., downtown Tacoma, 253.572.2821]



Tell me where you like to party at here.